Goonified
by kinky finkelstein
Summary: Thrown into the Goonies' lives in the middle of the movie, Carrie and Lindsey befriend the boys, have adventures, and more. Read and review please!
1. Dorkilicious

_Rap Rap Rap. _Lindsey awoke with a jolt. Slightly on the short side, she had long, dark brown hair, dark eyes, and looked somewhat average for a thirteen-year-old. She tried to sit up and promptly fell off the couch, landed on her face, and lay there, dazed, for a few moments. _Rap Rap Rap. _She scrambled to her feet and made a mad dash to the door, falling over at least four times before actually reaching the door. She finally opened the door to find Carrie standing outside. Carrie, her best friend. Taller than Lindsey, she had black shoulder-length hair, large blue eyes and a diabolical mind that matched Lindsey's.

"Hey!" exclaimed Lindsey tiredly, stifling a yawn. Is it possible to exclaim and sound tired at the same time? No idea, but I'll make it work, 'cause I'm special like that. "Come inside!" she turned around and started back outside, falling over and ending up partially dragging herself.

"Your legs are asleep!" Carrie observed brightly.

"How observent of you.." Lindsey muttered good-naturedly, gingerly standing up. She squinted at the clock on the wall. "It's ten at night... holy shiznicks, I must've fallen asleep earlier.. lack of sleep caught up to me." she chuckled.

"Yep." Carrie agreed. "Want to go upstairs and do something random?" she suggested.

"Sure."

And with that, the two of them started upstairs, stopping momentarily at Lindsey's guinea pig cages to say hello to the furry little animals who were preoccupied amusing themselves with an old chewed block of wood. Once in her bedroom, Lindsey rummaged around underneath her bed, occasionally chucking out random objects without looking.

Carrie climbed onto the bed, leaned over the edge and watched Lindsey make an utter mess. "What are you looking for?" she asked, amused.

"Movie." she answered, still throwing random things over her shoulder. "Any idea what you wanna watch, cause I'm just going to decide on the first thing I find if you don't have an idea."

Carrie shrugged, wincing as a chewed high-top sneaker hit the wall and knocked a painting down. "No idea.. but do you think you could be any, ah, more CAREFUL with the whole throw-crap-at-the-wall thing?"

Lindsey pulled back from underneath the bed. "Ow." she yelped, realizing her hair was caught in something underneath the bed. She sat up, rubbing the back of her head and realizing with some dismay that she'd lost her scrunchie to the Evils of Under the Bed. "Aha! How about this?" she said, holding up her copy of _The Goonies._

Carrie nodded. "Sure, sounds good.. I haven't seen that in forever!" she said agreeably.

And so Lindsey got up and put the movie on, and they sat back and watched.

"Mouth's such a dork." Carrie chuckled, as Mouth obnoxiously yelled "Jerk alert!" onscreen.

"Yeah... cute, but a dork." Lindsey grinned.

"I'm so gonna use that against you..."

"Dorkilicious!"


	2. Jerk Alert!

Halfway through the movie, they both fell asleep, and they slept for a long while, since they had both been staying up all night talking to each other online for the past few nights and were sleep deprived.

Some time later, Lindsey was abruptly awakened by a finger prodding her. She rolled over and hid her face in her hands to block out the light. "Quit poking me, Carrie... I'm not asleep!" she complained.

"Oooh... hear that, Mikey, you're Carrie now! I always knew you'd get in touch with your feminine side." snickered a familiar voice.

"Shut up, Mouth!" muttered a second voice.

"Ah, whatever. Lookit, I want to poke her now, get out of the way!" said the first voice.

Lindsey sat up and slapped the boy who was poking her. "Who the hell are you and wha..." her voice trailed off when she saw his face. Dark, Orli Bloom-esque eyes, blond-brown hair brushed up into a feathery spiked style that screamed '80s, a mischievous grin. He wore dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt, sneakers and a light grey jacket, with scuffed sneakers. _Is he who I think he is? _she thought, beginning to hyperventilate. _He can't be... there's no way..._

"Senor Clark, at your service." he said brightly, rubbing his reddened cheek. "Spunky little bitch, aren't you?"

"He's Mouth, the village idiot." said the second boy. He had stormy, thoughtful eyes, short touseled brown hair, and had an asthma inhaler sticking out of his denim jacket pocket. "Don't mind him, he's an asshole. I'm Mikey. You are..?"

Lindsey's mouth dropped open as she stared at them, a million thoughts going through her head.

"See, the ladies love me." whispered Mouth, running a comb he had conjured out of nowhere through his thick hair, at which Mikey knocked him over with a sharp jab in the side.

At this point, Carrie woke up. "Hey..." she squinted at Lindsey. "Where are we?"

Mouth looked at her with interest. "Goon Docks. I'm the village idiot."

Carrie's head jerked around so fast she cricked her neck at the sound of Mouth's voice. She stared at him, her mouth dropping open.

"The ladies love me again." Mouth said quietly, dodgeing another jab from Mikey.

"So.. uhm, I haven't heard your names?" Mikey asked again.

Lindsey closed her mouth, hoping she hadn't involuntarily swallowed any flies or small insects, and coughed. "I'm Lindsey... that's Carrie." she said, indicating Carrie, who was still staring open-mouthed at Mouth.

"Cool." the two boys said in unison.

Suddenly, a new voice was heard from outside. "Hey you guys! I just saw the most amazing thing..."

Mouth turned to Mikey and grinned evilly. "Jerrrrk alert!" he cried, then he got up and walked to the door, leaning out. "You gotta do the truffle shuffle first." he said to the boy standing outside. Presumably Chunk, the new kid was wearing a Hawaiian print shirt and plaid pants, awful combination. He was somewhat overweight, short, and had messy dark blond hair.

"Come on..."

"Do it."

"Come on!"

"DO IT!" commanded Mouth.

Chunk sighed and pulled his shirt up, shaking and making odd gurgling noises. Mikey, Carrie and Lindsey went to the door and looked out as Mouth laughed hysterically, pointing at Chunk. He sounded oddly like a yapping puppy.

"Cut it out, Mouth..." Mikey sounded exasperated, and he dropped a bowling ball into a contraption that kept the fence locked, which set off a bunch of contraptions and opened the gate.

Mouth looked disappointed, and Chunk waddled up to the front door. "Gee, thanks, Mikey..." he started breathlessly, but then everyone went inside and Mouth shut the door in his face.

"You tard!" he complained, pushing the door open and following them inside, glaring at Mouth. "Listen, okay? You guys will never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!"

"More amazing than the time Michael Jackson came over to your house to use the bathroom?" interrupted Mikey and Lindsey in unison

"More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?" asked Mikey's older brother Brand, who had appeared out of nowhere, and was wearing ugly blue shorts over his grey sweatpants.

"Yeah, I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's Pizza?" Mouth and Carrie finished together.

"You know.. your mouth didn't move with the words when you said Godfather's Pizza." Lindsey pointed out to Mouth, as Carrie nodded in agreement. Mouth raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay... Michael Jackson didn't come to my house to use the bathroom." Chunk looked defeated. "But, his sister did!" he added brightly.


	3. Carrie Gots the Hots

The two girls and the three boys (four, if you count Brand, who seemed too obsessed with his workout routine to take a minute to say hello to anyone) sat around talking for a while. Carrie seemed to be quickly developing an infatuation with Mouth, as she hid behind Mikey most of the time and sneaked glances at Mouth when she thought no one was looking.

"Carrie... why are you following me everywhere?" Mikey questioned, taking a puff from his asthma inhaler.

"I'm.. using you to hide." Carrie said truthfully.

Mikey raised an eyebrow. "Using me to hide? From what?"

"She's got the hots for one of your friends." Lindsey interjected helpfully.

"Do not!" Carrie shot back.

"If you don't got the hots for someone, then why are you hiding behind me?" Mikey looked confused.

"Fine.. I do, okay! But don't expect me to tell you who it is." Carrie huffed.

"Yeah, you've got me for that, Mike!" Lindsey joked.

"You tell him, you die. Simple as that." Carrie replied, grinning and turning red.

Mikey shrugged. "I don't see why it's such a big deal. Mouth thinks every girl on earth idolizes him anyway, so you just make one more."

"WHAT?" Carrie said quickly. "What makes you think I like MOUTH?"

Cue shifty eyes.

Mouth popped up from behind Lindsey. "It's my hair, isn't it?" he said, eyes dancing. "The ladies LOVE the hair."

"No!" Carrie protested. "Lindsey, how the hell could you let him hide behind you?"

"I didn't know he was there, honestly." Lindsey turned and slapped Mouth. "No embarassing and/or spying on my best friend. I don't take crap like that lightly, not even from the village idiot."

"Fine." Mouth pouted. "Adios, senoritas." he sighed, tried to look rejected but only succeeded in looking like an idiotic chipmunk, and left the room.

Mikey slapped his forehead. "Did he just call me a senorita?"

_Wow, he looks so cute for being Sean Astin! _Lindsey thought, amused and half-scared by her own thoughts.

"Yeah, he did." Carrie laughed, brushing a lock of hair out of her face. "Tough break, Mikey."

"If any guy around here's a 'senorita', it should be Brand." Mikey muttered to himself.

"I heard that, you adopted wimp!" Brand walked into the room trying to look menacing.

"I am NOT an adopted wimp." Mikey said calmly. "Adios, senorita."

_Whap! _

Mikey lay on the floor, dazed. "Remind me to never speak Spanish again." he said, gingerly touching his arm. "That's gonna leave a mark."

_Dunnn... dunnn... dundun... dundundundun, dundun..._

Mouth poked his head back into the room. "Is it just me or is the Mission Impossible theme song playing?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Carrie, Mouth, Mikey and Lindsey all exchanged looks. "DATA!" they screamed simultaneously.

Brand dropped his weight lifting bar on himself and got up to see what they were yelling about, and Chunk dropped his bag of chips.

"OK Data, don't mess this one up!" they heard Data's voice coming from his bedroom window across the street. He was small, with delicate Asian features and he wore a grey trenchcoat that bulged with his various inventions. He had the Mission Impossible song playing as he prepared to zipline down from his bedroom window to Mikey's house. "Mikey, get the door!" he screamed as he whizzed down toward the door.

Everyone rushed at the door, but Mikey reached it first and pulled it open just in time. Data flew in the door, let go of the zip line, and fell on top of Mikey, setting off a chain reaction. Mikey bumped into Chunk, Chunk knocked Mouth over, Mouth fell on Lindsey, and Carrie lost her balance, knocked Brand into a chair, and fell over on Mouth.

Lindsey tried to sit up, which was difficult with Mouth lying across her lap. "Ugh, Mouth, I think you gave me a concussion." she joked.

"Blame Data, sue him for everything he owns. I'll help." Mouth joked back, carefully moving off Lindsey but allowing Carrie to remain on his lap.

Carrie didn't seem to mind. She didn't try to move, anyway.

"How does she know who's Data?" Data demanded in his high-pitched, babyish voice.

"... Mouth and Mikey mentioned it to me." Lindsey lied.

"We did?" Mikey and Mouth looked at each other.

"Yes. Boys have the memory span of a mosquito." Carrie said, grinning at Lindsey, who mouthed _Thanks_ to her for backing up her lie.

"I learn something new every day." Mouth shrugged.

"And it all leaves your head within twelve minutes." Brand snickered.

"It leaves MY head within twelve minutes? We should be going out in style, this is our LAST day in the Goon Docks, but NOOOO... the big brother had to go and blow it.. by flunking his driver's test?" Mouth shot back.

Chunk sat up and rubbed his head, almost knocking over a large expensive looking naked statue in the process. Brand scrambled up, mouth dropping open, Mouth's face formed into a chipmunklike smile as he undoubtedly thought Chunk was going to get busted bigtime, and Mikey looked terrified and apprehensive.

"Bet you guys thought I was gonna break it, huh?" Chunk said cheerfully.

... at that moment, he dropped it.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Mikey and Lindsey.

"You idiot!" yelled Mouth, Carrie and Brand at the same time.

"Hehe, it's perfect." Chunk laughed nervously. "I didn't break it."

Lindsey knew what was coming. "This will be amusing." she whispered to Carrie, who was still on Mouth's lap.

Right on cue, Mikey realized what was missing. "Oh my GOD!" he shouted, his inhaler falling out of his mouth and lying unnoticed on the floor. "Uhhhnn... that's my mom's most favorite piece!" He tried frantically to stick the missing.. ah, appendage back onto the statue.

Mouth grinned like an evil chipmunk. "You wouldn't be here if it wasn't." he spoke obnoxiously into his hairbrush like a microphone.

"Shut up, Mouth!" Brand and Mikey said within about two seconds of each other. Brand whacked Mouth on the side of the head. And, of course, Mouth quickly brushed his hair back into place, giving Brand the evil eye.

---------------------------

**A/N: Sorry the chapters are so short, hopefully once I get into the story a bit more I'll start writing longer ones. **

**HellGirlAngel: My very first reviewer! hugs And such a nice one at that! Yes, I'll certainly be updating! 3**

**Please keep the reviews coming! I love to hear what my readers think!**


	4. Mouth, Master Translator

"You guys ever heard of Detroit?" Data asked. His accent made him pronounce it 'Detwoyt'.

"Nope." Mikey said, trying to fit the broken, ah, appendage back onto its proper place on the statue.

"Why, sointently!" Mouth said in an accent that Lindsey couldn't quite place. "Got the highest murder rate in the country."

"Sointently.. nice one." Carrie said to Mouth, amused. He shrugged modestly and ran his comb through his hair.

"Yeah, well, that's where we'll be going tomorrow when we lose our houses." Data said, forlorn.

"Don't talk about that you guys, it's not gonna happen!" Mikey exclaimed, trying to convince himself.

The door opened at that moment, and everyone turned around as Mrs. Walsh entered with a middle aged Latino woman. Mouth and Chunk came to the back of the group with Mikey and Lindsey, and positioned themselves in front of the broken statue.

"Give it to me." Lindsey whispered to Mikey, nodding at the others to not bother trying to hide it. Mikey quickly passed the statue to Lindsey, and she bent down, faked a coughing spell, and expertly rolled the statue into a closet behind the couch.

"Gee, thanks." he whispered gratefully.

"No problem. I do it all the time at home." she chanced a smile, and found herself grinning even more widely when he returned the smile. She mentally slapped herself and stepped away from the couch.

"Oh, and who are the girls, Mikey?" Mrs. Walsh was asking.

He turned red. "Uhh... just, ah.." he stuttered.

"They're a couple of Data's second cousins twice removed on his father's side through marriage that stopped by, and Data brought them along here." Mouth jumped to the rescue. "To see my hair." he added, reaching up with a hand to make sure his hair was still as perfect as ever.

"Heh, funny. You don't look Asian at all." Mrs. Walsh shrugged.

"We're... adopted." Carrie explained.

"Oh, that'd explain it. Oh, and this is Rosalita. She'll be helping with the cleaning because of my arm." Mrs. Walsh said, frowning slightly at her arm, which was in a sling.

"Hola!" greeted Mouth.

"Ole." added Chunk and Mikey.

"Now, Rosalita doesn't speak a word of English, and I know some of you have taken Spanish in school..." she began.

"Mrs. Walsh, I speak perfect Spanish, and if it's any help to you I'd be happy to communicate with Rosalita." Mouth offered.

"Oh, you're a lifesaver, Clark! Come with us, then."

"Certainly, Mrs. Walsh." Mouth said, looking angelic. Lindsey followed him, forming her hands into a halo and holding them above his head as everyone else looked on and choked back laughter. He turned around, and Lindsey quickly hid her hands behind her back.

"What?" Mouth asked, suspiciously.

"Nothing. They're laughing at Chunk, he just almost choked on a Twinkie." Lindsey improvised.

"Mind if we come along, Mrs. Walsh?" Carrie asked.

"Sure, girls. Just don't interfere with Mouth's translating." Mrs. Walsh said agreeably.

Of course, Data, Chunk and Mikey all followed along too, but no one really cared.

They soon reached upstairs, and in the first room, Mrs. Walsh gave Mouth a long string of instructions to translate for Rosalita.

"La marihuana entra el cajón primero, la velocidad en el segundo cajón, y en la cocaína en el tercero. Siempre separe las drogas." Mouth said seriously. Rosalita's eyes bugged out.

Lindsey and Carrie tried not to laugh.

"What'd he tell her?" Mikey whispered urgently.

"The marijuana goes in the top drawer, the speed in the second drawer, and cocaine in the third. Always separate the drugs." Lindsey whispered back, and everyone turned bright red from trying not to laugh.

On to the next room. "This is the attic. Mr. Walsh doesn't want anyone up there. EVER. I guess that's why it's always open." said Mrs. Walsh, closing the attic door.

"Nunca suba allí. Es llenado de Señor Walsh dispositivos sexuales de tormento." Mouth told Rosalita, making exaggerated gestures, and winking at her before moving on to the next room with Mrs. Walsh and everyone else. Rosalita stayed there, staring at the attic door with a sick fascination for a moment, so Mouth turned around and tapped her on the back.

She jumped and screamed. "Aaayah!"

"Never go up there. It's filled with Mr. Walsh's sexual torture devices." Lindsey said to everyone, who had hung back a bit so Mrs. Walsh wouldn't hear the translation and catch on to Mouth. Everyone snickered.

In the supply room, Mrs. Walsh gave Rosalita her final instructions. "This is my supply room. You'll find everything you need in here.. brooms, dust pans, insect repellent. I really want the house to be clean when they tear it down."

Mouth didn't miss a beat. "Si usted hace un trabajo malo que usted se cerrará en aquí con las cucarachas por dos semanas sin alimento o agua." he waved a hand threateningly at her, and apparently Mrs. Walsh didn't notice.

"If you do a bad job you'll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks with no food or water." Lindsey translated for everyone, and Chunk let out a loud snort of laughter, which Mrs. Walsh eyed him warily for.

"Okay, Rosie? Okay? I think you'll be really happy here." Mrs. Walsh said in a friendly voice. Rosalita looked terrified out of her wits, and Mouth looked proud at what he'd done. He seemed to enjoy making Spanish women paranoid.

Rosalita stayed in the room for about three seconds after everyone else had gone. "¡Mi Dios que estoy en una casa loca!" she exclaimed, shuddering, and with that she turned and followed everyone downstairs.

"Where did you learn Spanish like that? That was soooo nice of you!" Mrs. Walsh exclaimed, patting Mouth's head like he was an obedient puppy.

"Nice is my middle name, Mrs. Walsh." Mouth snickered, and reached for his comb. "Damn that woman, messing up my hair." he muttered to Carrie, who burst out laughing.

"Did you really say all that stuff, Mouth?" Mikey asked, looking partly annoyed at Mouth's immaturity and partly respectful.

"What the hell did you think I would do? Actually translate?"

"Oh God." Mikey rolled his eyes. "Wow.. you're good at Spanish." he said to Lindsey.

"Huh? I don't know Spanish." she replied.

"Uh... then how did you know what he was saying?" Mikey looked extremely confused.

"Oh. Dammit. Nevermind."


	5. Truth or Dare

"Now, Rosalita and I are going to the supermarket. We'll be back in an hour." Mrs. Walsh began. "Mikey, I want you kept inside, Brand, if he has even the slightest bit of asthma anything I don't want him out in the rain!"

"He should be put in a plastic bubble." muttered Brand.

"I am serious, Brandon! It's not funny! If he takes one step outside, you will be in the deepest.. absolute deepest.. deep shh... shh... sh.." she stuttered, trying not to cuss.

"SHIT, ma." Brand said helpfully.

She slapped him. "I don't like that language, but that is exactly what you are going to be in."

Brand rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, Lindsey and Carrie were whispering something in Mouth's ear, something evil by the glint in Mouth's eye. He whispered back, and Lindsey shook her head and repeated whatever she was saying. He whispered again, and Carrie nodded, grinning.

"Brick wall, waterfall. Brandon thinks he got it all, but he don't. And I do. Peace punch, Captain Crunch, I got something you can't touch. Bang bang, choo-choo train, wind me up I do my thing. Boom with that attitude or Reese's Pieces, Seven-Up, mess with me I mess you up!" Mouth recited in what had to be one of his most obnoxious voices. He struck a pose, one hand on his hip and one hand in front of his face in a talk-to-the-hand gesture.

Mrs. Walsh didn't seem to notice, but Brand sure did. He was turning bright red, and everyone could tell that the presence of his mother was the only thing keeping him from pounding Mouth into a sorry pulp. Lindsey and Mouth started laughing at the look on Brand's face, and Carrie laughed so hard that she almost fell over, but Mouth caught her. She was still trying to get her giggling under control when she realized that she was in his arms, and her face immediately sobered. Carrie looked into his eyes and couldn't believe what she saw... did he actually have a somewhat serious expression on his face? In his eyes? Behind the evil glint?

Her dreamlike thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Walsh's voice again. "And you, Donna.." she was saying.

"Data!" Data corrected her.

"Donna.. er, Data. Use the backdoor from now on."

"All right." Data said in a resigned tone, his eyes downcast.

"Bye Mrs. Walsh." Mouth and Chunk called.

"Adios senorita!" Mouth added, staring menacingly at Rosalita.

The door slammed, and the guys and the girls were alone once more.

Before Mouth could suggest hunting for the 'rich stuff' like Lindsey and Carrie knew he would, they had a quick whispered conversation and Lindsey turned back to the guys.

"We should play Truth or Dare." she said, her eyes dancing.

"Oh, that is pure genius, my friend." Mouth smirked. "I want to do the first one!"

"Great, then..." Lindsey began, but before she could finish everyone else but Carrie burst out in protest.

"GOOD GOD NO!" shouted Mikey.

"Holy Mackenzie! You idiot!" protested Data.

"Mouth has the most freakin' evil dares, and he makes you feel like a wuss if you do truth!" Chunk moaned.

"So what?" said the girls and Mouth all at once.

"Okay." Mouth walked around in a circle, stroking his chin in thought. "Mikey. Truth or dare?"

"Uhm.. truth." Mikey said quickly.

"Wussy... wussy.." chanted Mouth softly.

"Not gonna work, Mouth. Just ask me whatever." Mikey snapped.

"Fine, fine. Do you like anyone in this room?" he smiled eagerly.

Mikey turned red. "I meant dare!"

"No you didn't..." Mouth said in a singsong voice.

"Fine. Yes. I'm not gonna say who." he said angrily.

"Well, my friend, unless you're secretly gay, that narrows it down quite a bit." laughed Mouth.

Mikey just turned red and put his head in his hands. "Um.. Lindsey." he said halfheartedly. "Truth or dare."

Lindsey thought it over quickly. Embarassment or embarassment? Tough choice. "Fish!" she blurted out the first word that came to mind. _Oops. Wrong thing. _she realized. "I mean dare." she corrected herself quickly.

Mikey leaned forward to whisper his dare into her ear. "Do something really bad to Mouth's hair."

Lindsey grinned. He obviously hadn't liked Mouth's truth-or-dare question. "Sure!" she agreed. She turned to Brand. "Can I borrow that?" she asked hopefully, indicating the odd exercise thing he was using. It was a coiled wire contraption with handles at either end, and could be useful for tying Mouth up.

"I guess." he agreed reluctantly. "Just don't mess it up, kid, or I'll hit you so hard your clothes will be out of style."

She took it gratefully and pretended to go into the kitchen for something. She doubled back, crawling close to the floor noiselessly, and jumped up behind the chair Mouth was in. She wrapped the coiled wire around him and looped the handles around each other securely as Mouth squirmed in protest.

"Cut it OUT!" he cried angrily, fighting to escape the coils.

Lindsey ignored his protests. "I'm really sorry for what I'm about to do, Mouth, I don't mind you or your perfect hair at all, but I have to do what Mikey dared me to."

"I'LL GET YOU, MIKEY!" howled Mouth, as Lindsey began to French-braid a small section of his hair. It wasn't easy, because Mouth's hair was only about two or three inches long, but it was worth the effort. After twenty minutes or so, his entire head was covered in tiny French-braids, and he was murmuring threatening things under his breath.

"I'm really sorry about this, Mouth." she grinned happily, admiring her work. "Go get a mirror." she advised Mikey, and he ran off to find one.

"Take a look at that!" Mikey returned with the mirror and held it in front of Mouth, who let out a fresh howl of disgust. "My HAIR.. my perfect HAIR!"

"Cool it, man, it's just braids." Carrie stood behind Mouth and closely studied his hair. "It'll come out, but your hair might be a bit kinky from being braided."

"Oh thanks a lot, Mikey. I'm gonna have an afro." Mouth sounded defeated.

"Do you promise not to pound me or Mikey into the carpet?" Lindsey asked him.

He considered. "Fine. If I'm allowed to take this out of my hair."

"Deal." she went around to the back of the chair and undid the coiled wire thing, tossed it to Brand, and watched as Mouth's fingers wildly combed through his hair, frantically undoing the braids.

"It's your turn to truth-or-dare someone, by the way, Lindsey." Mouth said as his fingers flew over and through his hair.

"Oh yeah." she remembered. "Carrie, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Carrie said immediately, confident that being her best friend, Lindsey wouldn't give her anything too embarassing to do.

"Kiss Mouth."

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**A/N: Hopefully this chapter is more interesting than my other ones, I thought a game of truth or dare would be interesting, especially if something happened to Mouth's precious hair. **

**HellGirlAngel: Ah, my loyal reviewer! I'll try to update at LEAST twice a week, and since I'm grounded I have a lot of spare time to work at this, and I'll probably update almost daily. And yes, I like Corey Feldman.. in his older movies anyway, he's not as great anymore unfortunantly.**


	6. Kissing Mouth

"Kiss... kiss MOUTH?" Carrie repeated incredulously, shrieking the last word.

"Did someone say my name?" Mouth asked, his hands still flying in a blur over his hair, trying to unbraid the horror that Lindsey had turned his head into.

"NO!" Carrie said quickly. Then she turned to Lindsey. "How could you do this to me!" she whispered frantically. "I can't kiss him!"

"And why not?" Lindsey replied. "Unless you have a verified medical disorder that prevents you from kissing Clark Devereaux, you can and will kiss him."

"Okay, I definitely heard my name pop up there, right after the word 'kissing'." Mouth looked at them.

"Shut up, CLARK." Carrie turned red.

He shrugged and went back to messing around with his hair, pulling out a comb and trying to brush out the braids. He winced. "Oww, shit, the damn comb's pulling my hair."

"You have to kiss him. Come on, you like the guy, and I'm not going to let this opportunity pass you by!" Lindsey told Carrie firmly, lowering her voice to a whisper.

"You mean you're not going to let her pass the opportunity by." Mikey corrected her, joining the whispered conversation.

"That's what I said." Lindsey muttered.

"Do it!" Mikey and Lindsey said together.

"Come on.." Carrie protested.

"DO IT!"

Mouth seemed to have lost interest in the conversation, and he didn't look up, not even at the shouted 'DO IT!'. He just sat there and unbraided his hair as quickly as he could, patting the unbraided parts and wincing at the kinkiness of it.

Carrie sighed, reddened, and walked up to him bravely. "Mouth." she said his name shakily to get his attention.

He stopped trying to fix his hair. "What?" he asked suspiciously.

She closed her eyes momentarily, summoning up every ounce of courage she had, looked into his eyes, and kissed him. _WHY am I doing this? _she was mentally screaming to herself. _If the guy liked me at all as a friend, he's not going to now! He's going to think I'm a freakin' weirdo! A loon! A nutcase! He doesn't LIKE me._

To her surprise, he didn't push her away.

He returned the kiss.

They kissed for a surprisingly long time, until a snicker from Chunk caught their attention and made them pull back.

"Shame, shame!" Chunk shook a finger at Mouth.

"We know your name!" Data shook his finger at Carrie.

"I actually doubt you know my name, Data." Carrie smiled goodnaturedly.

"It's Carrie!" Data looked proud.

"No, stupid, it's Oz!" Mouth said with a completely straight face.

"No it's not!" Data whined, pronouncing it 'No's not!'.

"Is too." Carrie backed up Mouth's story. "Oz Dawson-Feldman."

Mikey and Lindsey didn't even bother to contradict Mouth and Carrie, although Lindsey found it damn near impossible to keep a straight face after Carrie had claimed her name was Oz Dawson-Feldman.

Data scratched his head, bemused. "What the S-H-I-T kind of person would name their kid Oz Dotson Fielding?"

"It's Oz Dawson-Feldman." Carrie corrected him, putting emphasis on the surname.

"Yeah, that's what I said!" Data slapped a hand on his head, looking exasperated. "Jeez, you guys."

Carrie tried not to laugh, and turned back to Mouth, who was smiling evilly, obviously amused by Data. "Heh.. your hair looks so frickin' frizzy now." she laughed, putting a hand on his head and fingering it.

"Note to self. Kill Mikey." Mouth rolled his eyes. "I don't enjoy afro-ish hair. I liked my old hair. I could brush it without breaking my comb." he said, holding up a comb with four broken teeth for evidence.

"... wow." Carrie grinned. "Hey, there's a comb tooth in your hair, too." she picked it out and laughed.

"Did you know monkeys pick lice out of each others' hair? That looks kinda what you're doing to Mouth." Brand pointed out to Carrie, sniggering.

"Mouth is a chipmunk." Carrie corrected him. "NOT a monkey."

She realized she was still standing inches away from Mouth with her hand on his shoulder, and she stepped away, feeling awkward. _Wow. I can't believe this. I kissed him. He didn't mind._ her mind marveled.

She turned to Mikey and Lindsey, who were standing next to each other, having a conversation about something or other.

"I LOVE YOU GUYS." Carrie said, and she tackled them, knocked them both down.

"I love YOU for daring me to kiss him!" she declared, looking at Lindsey.

"And I love YOU for picking Lindsey to dare me because otherwise I wouldn't have gotten that dare!" she cried, throwing herself at Mikey and giving him a disgustingly loud kiss on the cheek that made Mouth look jealous. He seemed to be restraining himself from pummelling someone.

Mikey looked shocked, and everyone else -with the exception of Mouth, who looked like he wanted to throw himself at Mikey and strangle him- looked amused beyond words. "Uhm... thanks?" Mikey guessed, rubbing his cheek gingerly and reaching for his inhaler.

Brand took that as his cue to start a nice, friendly game of Kick-Your-Brother's-Ass, and dragged Mikey onto a chair to start beating him up. "You want a breathing problem? You got it." he said menacingly.

Oh, the joys of brotherly love.

Mouth approached them and put his hand on Mikey's leg. "Hey... what's your dad doing with all that stuff in the attic?" he wondered.

Brand quit beating on Mikey long enough for him to pull himself into a sitting position. "Donate it to the museum, I guess. Or give it to whoever they pick to be the new assistant cur... curly..." he stumbled over a word, and Brand whacked him on the back of the head.

"CURATOR." Brand said, rolling his eyes.

"Guys... maybe there's some stuff up there, that WE can keep!" Mouth cried enthusiastically, bouncing around and looking extremely hyper suddenly. "Maybe there's some RICH STUFF! Rich stuff! GOLD! Rich stuff! Gold! RICH STUFF!" He bounced up the stairs, ignoring Mikey's protests, and everyone else followed him.

"You guys LISTEN to me dammit, that's HIS STUFF!" Mikey shouted, agitated, as he ran up the stairs to the attic after them.


	7. Hand Stuff To Chunk and Watch It Go Boom

Once in the attic, everyone proceeded to rummage through the attic looking for anything that could be considered "rich stuff".

Mouth and Carrie approached Mikey and each put an arm around one of Mikey's shoulders. "I can not believe you have something _this cool_ in your house, Mikey." they said together.

Mikey pushed them away and walked off, as Mouth gazed after him.

"Uhm... how the hell do you always know what I'm going to say?" Mouth finally said, looking curiously at Carrie.

Carrie laughed. "I'm... somewhat psychic." she improvised.

"Psycho? Yeah, I knew that."

"PsyCHIC, not psyCHO." Carrie shook a fist in his face playfully, and he flinched.

"Two for flinching!" Carrie exclaimed, whacking him twice on the arm.

"Psychic, psycho, what's the difference?" Mouth muttered, rubbing his arm.

"The difference is a looney bin and some mindreading, genius."

Meanwhile, Lindsey was engaged in a fun game of hand-stuff-to-Chunk-and-watch-it-go-boom.

"Hey, Chunk... can you hold this? I want to see that one... thing... that's behind it, it looks cool." she handed a very breakable looking vase to him.

"Uh, sure..." he took it and looked around boredly.

_Crash!_

"Oh, jeez, I'm sorry!" he babbled.

"It's okay, just hold this." Lindsey held a big mirror in a fancy frame out.

He took it.

_Crash!_

"What the hell did you break this time!" Mikey approached them.

Chunk looked guilty and tried in vain to push the broken mirror under an old chair with his foot.

"God, Chunk, what a klutz!" Lindsey exclaimed dramatically, trying frantically to keep a straight face.

Cue shifty eyes.

"Well, when you're friends with Chunk, you get used to it." Mikey sighed heavily. "I've gotta clean up this crap, before my dad sees it and goes berserk."

"I'll help." Lindsey volunteered after a half-second of thought. It was her fault that the vase, mirror, and various other broken articles lying around the attic were broken, and she didn't want Mikey to have to clean them up himself.

"Thanks, but it's okay." he smiled.

"No, really." she insisted. "I'll help."

"Well... if you really want to." Mikey gave in.

Lindsey took a garbage bag and a broom and began sweeping the tiny bits of silver-backed glass from the mirror into the bag, as Mikey picked up the porcelain shards that had once been a vase.

"Is that all?" Lindsey asked, once they had finished cleaning up everything.

"I guess so." Mikey surveyed the room with a critical eye, as he tied the garbage bag closed.

After an awkward pause, Lindsey finally spoke. "Do you think Mouth and Carrie actually have something going on?" she wondered aloud.

"Oh, I really think so." Mikey grinned. "Mouth's gotten kisses from truth-or-dare games before, and he ALWAYS quit kissing after the first nanosecond or two, and he acted all revolted for the rest of the day."

Lindsey glanced around and her gaze stopped on Mouth and Carrie chatting animatedly in a corner by themselves. "He sure doesn't seem revolted now." she sounded amused.

"You're not kidding." Mikey sounded just as amused, as he watched Mouth put an arm around Carrie.

"Cute couple, aren't they?"

"Yeah, or as cute as a couple can be, if it includes Mouth." Mikey cracked.

"Come on, Mouth's not that odd." Lindsey argued.

Mouth chose that moment to put a large, stupid pirate hat on and shake his fist in the air yelling 'Argh Matey!', his other arm still around Carrie, who looked like she didn't know whether to laugh or back away.

"Or... maybe he is." she had no choice but to correct herself.

"Just maybe."

They fell into silence, but a comfortable sort of silence, as they watched Mouth and Carrie.

Soon enough, Lindsey's mind wandered, and she found herself studying Mikey instead. Her eyes wandered over the perfect features of his face, his sandy brown hair, his thoughtful eyes.

_How didn't I notice how adorable he is before? And he's a really nice guy, the kind of guy who you can be comfortable around no matter what.. _

She shook herself out of her daze. _How can I like him? I can't! I just... can't! _she thought.

_Why not? _she argued to herself.

_I just... can't..._

_Give me one good reason why not!_

_I don't have one!_

Her thoughts were interrupted by Mouth's voice. While she was arguing with herself, Carrie and Mouth had apparently come over and were now talking to Mikey.

"Yeah, he broke everything over there, it was insane." Mikey looked peeved.

"You know, I know someone who knew someone who broke everything like that.." Mouth began.

"... and she would get her kicks out of handing fragile looking objects to the other kid..." Carrie continued, grinning at Lindsey.

".. and the other kid would drop them and smash the shit out of them. Really funny, huh?" Mouth finished, looking from Carrie to Lindsey with a malicious glint in his eye.

Lindsey tried to keep a straight face, since she was positive they'd been watching her play hand-stuff-to-Chunk-and-watch-it-go-boom earlier. "Yeah, sounds crazy!"

"Not like any of US would do something like that, right?" Mouth pressed on.

"Hell no." Lindsey chuckled. "But it might be interesting to try."

Mikey gave her a don't-you-dare look.

"Not that I would, of course." she added hastily.

"Suuuuuure." Carrie snickered.

Lindsey noticed Mouth getting an evil look on his face, which meant for sure that he was going to pull his talking-painting joke.

"Hey, Mouth's gonna do the painting thing now, follow me and watch." Lindsey whispered to Carrie.

"You're not going to do anything really bad to him, are you?" Carrie asked warily.

"Me? Bad? I would never." Lindsey replied, trying to look angelic but failing dismally. "Just follow me."

They quickly made their way over to the painting, and Lindsey positioned herself behind the painting at the perfect spot, as Carrie leaned against the wall nearby, waiting for Mouth to approach. As soon as he did, he flashed Carrie a quick grin, punched a hole in the painting with his hand, and let out a yelp of disgust.

"EEEEEYUGHH!" he screamed, pulling his hand back.

"What? What?" Carrie asked.

"There's slimy crap on my hand!" Mouth shrilled. "What the hell?"

At this point, Lindsey peeked out from behind the painting. "The slimy crap would be my spit." she said proudly.

"Good God, woman!" Mouth sounded disgusted, wiping his hand off on his jeans.

"... wow, Linds." Carrie sounded like she wanted to laugh but was restraining herself for Mouth. "You licked his hand. That's disgusting!"

-----------------------------

**A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to put up an update, I'll be staying up all night tonight to write another chapter for this and hopefully for my Gilbert Grape fanfic as well. **

**HellGirlAngel: Thanks for reviewing, and keep the reviewscoming. :) Your SBM fanfic is really good, I actually just saw SBM for the first time a few days ago o.O But I'd been reading SBM fanfics for a while before that, lol. **

**Please, I beg you all, read and review! Tell me what you think!**


	8. Fencing Lessons My Ass!

"Holy shit. You die, Lindsey!" roared Mouth, taking off after her.

"Yeah, and that's if you can catch me, and avoid getting your ass kicked!" Lindsey yelled back breathlessly, running off as fast as she could, leaping over a painting.

"Watch it, you guys!" Mikey called out, sounding exasperated. "Last thing I need is for you to break even more stuff!"

Mouth dodged the painting Lindsey had leapt over and tripped over a large chest in the process. "Dammit!" he cursed, rubbing his leg. "That's gonna leave a mark!"

Lindsey stood at the other end of the attic, trying to catch her breath. "Yeah, and if you don't give up now, you'll get half a dozen other marks!"

Carrie looked worried. "Don't kick his ass too hard!"

"God, Carrie, don't worry... I wouldn't put your boyfriend in the hospital or anything. We're just messing around." Lindsey grinned.

Carrie went red at the word 'boyfriend'. "Hey, we're not officially going out, you know.. we just, ah, shared a..."

"... forty second frencher?" Mikey put in, smirking.

"Okay, you die, Walsh!" Carrie exclaimed, leaping to her feet and chasing Mikey. She paused momentarily, wondering if he'd notice that she knew his last name without having been told.

He didn't seem to notice, he just got up and RAN.

"Don't kick his ass too hard, Carrie!" Lindsey called.

"Hey, I would never." Carrie laughed, still running after Mikey.

Meanwhile, Mouth had gotten up and was slowly making his way to the door.

"Where do you think you're going, Mouth?" Lindsey said, looking at him.

"Yeah, Mouth!" Chunk said. He and Data were sitting at the other end of the attic, watching the Mouth-Lindsey and Mikey-Carrie battles with enthusiasm. Chunk had even managed to find some popcorn, which he was stuffing into his face at lightening speed, as Data repeatedly tried to steal some of it.

"Uh... I just have to go to the bathroom?" Mouth suggested, looking around shiftily.

"I think not, eunuch!" roared Lindsey, pouncing at him.

"Holy Mackenzie!" Mouth leapt backwards and landed on his back. "Jesus! And what the damn is a eunuch!"

_Dammit, Pirates of the Caribbean isn't even around yet. _Lindsey thought.

She pounced on him, pinning his legs under her, and shook a fist in his face. He flinched, jerking backwards and almost hitting his head on the wall.

"Haha, you pansy. I scared the shit out of you." Lindsey laughed. "Oh, Lindsey, I just turned my Fruit-of-the-Looms into a fudge factory!" she said in a high, mocking voice, quoting Stand By Me.

"I don't wear Fruit of the Looms, I wear boxers." Mouth joked.

"Ohhh, I bet Carrie loves that." Lindsey said under her breath, trying not to laugh.

Carrie and Mikey were still chasing each other all over the attic, jumping over various cardboard boxes full of breakable stuff.

"Christ!" yelled Mikey, as Carrie threw herself forward and grabbed him by the shoulder. He wiggled free and dashed off again.

Carrie looked around quickly, and noticed a sword leaning against a wall. "Awesome." she said under her breath, and she picked it up and ran after Mikey with it.

"OH SHIT!" Mikey screeched, looking over his shoulder and seeing the sword. He started backing up and backed into a wall, falling to his knees.

Carrie tripped and the sword went flying.

_Ping! _

The sword stuck into the wall just above Mikey's head.

"... oh crap." commented Carrie. "I thought the stupid thing was a BLUNT sword."

"Jesus H bald-headed Christ!" swore Lindsey. "Are you okay, Mikey?"

"Yeah.." he looked at the sword and attempted to pull it out of the wall, but it was stuck in there pretty good. "Damn, Carrie, no more sharp objects for you!"

"But I took fencing lessons!" Carrie protested.

"Fencing lessons my ass!"

**--------------------------------**

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual... I'm going through some crap right now (my grandma died, and we're moving), so I'm sorry about that. I'll try to update regularly.**

**HellGirlAngel: Glad you liked the chapter! I thought SBM was freakin' awesome, I watched it about five dozen times already, I really liked the scene where Teddy's teasing Chopper, and then Milo comes over and starts insulting his dad.. Teddy just gets so emotional over it all. Great movie. Your SBM fanfic is really good, I reviewed chapter 3, excellant. :)**

**Read -n- review, please!**


	9. Mouth Feels Pretty?

"What happened?" Mouth came over to see what everyone was yelling about.

"Carrie almost put a sword through Mikey!" Lindsey bounced. "It was great!"

"Ha! Awesome!" snickered Mouth.

"Thanks." Carrie grinned at Mouth.

"Anytime, babe." he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss.

"Maybe I should almost put swords through Mikey more often..." Carrie said to herself.

"Good idea." Lindsey laughed.

"Damn it. I didn't want to say that part aloud." Carrie grumbled.

"You know, maybe I should try to put a sword through Mikey sometime." Mouth mused. "I've always wanted to, and Carrie's inspired me to actually try it."

"Please!" Mikey rolled his eyes. "I've had enough near-death experiences for one day, thank you very much!"

"You know, I had a near-death experience once!" Chunk joined into the conversation. "I was sittin' on the couch in my aunt's apartment, you know, the one that smells like old cats? The aunt that smells like old cats I mean, not the couch. Anyway I was sittin' there and Auntie Mildrew was showing me pictures of all of her blind rescued ferret things, and she bored me _right out of my body. _I'm serious, you guys. I fell asleep, and I was like OUT of my body, floating up and watching myself sleep and watching Auntie Mildrew slobber all over her blind ferret things ..."

"That's a dream, not a near-death experience, you idiot!" Mouth doubled over laughing.

Chunk looked confused. "But..."

"Must I spell it out for you? You said it yourself, you FELL ASLEEP." Mouth said slowly. "You FELL ASLEEP. FALLING ASLEEP initiates DREAMS, not NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES."

"Gosh you guys, I have near-death experiences all the time!" Data exclaimed. "Like the one time, when my Pinchers of Peril broke when I was hanging out my window.."

"What were you doing hanging out the window?" Carrie raised an eyebrow.

"Being Double Oh Negative, of course!" Mouth stated.

"I told you, it's not Double Oh NEGATIVE!" Data said furiously. "Double Oh SEVEN!"

"Duplique ah siete son un pensamiento alegre, ustedes saben este ya tan yo no sé por qué yo molesto decirlo." Mouth said to Data, an evil smirk on his face.

"Do we want to know what you said?" wondered Mikey.

"I wanna know! You gotta say it to Data's face, so I can kick your ass!" exclaimed Data, going red.

"Double Oh Seven is a gay pansy, but you already know this so I don't know why I bother to tell you." Mouth translated proudly. He paused. "Actually, I said Double Oh Seven is a 'happy thought' pansy, but close enough."

Carrie and Lindsey burst out laughing at the "happy thought pansy" thing, and Mikey almost swallowed his inhaler.

Data appeared to be deep in thought. "Are you calling Double Oh Seven Bond a pansy, or Double Oh Seven Data a pansy?" he said finally.

"Data, of course. I don't give a flying rat's ass about James Bond." Mouth replied cheerily.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEAAARGH!" Data squealed. He did a lot more squealing and attempted to tackle Mouth, which was, needless to say, unsuccessful.

"I got the strong one!" Carrie gloated at Lindsey as Data repeatedly leapt on Mouth, only to be thrown off and laughed at.

"I want the asthmatic one!" Lindsey chanted softly. "What'd I just say!" she realized what had come out of her mouth, and hoped fervently that Mikey hadn't been within earshot.

"You said you wanted the asthmatic one?" Carrie laughed.

"OWWWW! Holy S-H-I-T!" screeched Data as he hit the wall with a thud. "SQUEEEEE!"

"Okay, Mouth, as wildly amusing as this is, quit abusing Double Oh Negative." Mikey said to Mouth.

"Why should I? It's FUN!" Mouth protested.

"You want to seriously hurt him and have to deal with his dad, go riiiiiight ahead. See if I care." Mikey shrugged.

"Aww come on!" Data whined, as Mouth gave him a noogie.

"Mouth, cut it out right now or I'll give you a noogie!" Lindsey threatened, suddenly being inspired by Mouth's giving Data a noogie.

"Nah. You'll have to catch me first." Mouth smiled confidently.

"Mouth, cut it out right now or I'll give you a noogie!" Carrie repeated exactly what Lindsey had said, and looked at Mouth sternly.

"Sure." he gave Data a friendly chuck under the chin and bounced over to Carrie, who grinned. _He listens to ME and no one else! _she mouthed to Lindsey, looking quite proud.

"So, since I can't beat on Double Oh Negative anymore, I'm gonna need something else to do." Mouth said decidedly. "Heidi-ho, let's go!"

Carrie and Lindsey exchanged a weird look. _Heidi-ho, let's go? _

"He's so flamboyant!" laughed Carrie, looking at him adoringly.

Mouth strutted off to a corner in the attic and started rummaging through cardboard boxes, throwing out items at random. "Moldy t-shirt.." he chucked a mold-spotted dark green t-shirt out behind him, and it landed on Mikey, who promptly pulled it off his head and started to sputter, choke and fumble for his inhaler.

"Dog food.." Mouth threw a box of dog biscuits over his shoulder, and it hit Chunk on the shoulder.

"Ow! You tard!" complained Chunk. Then he eyed the unopened dog biscuits inside the box, looked around to see if anyone was looking, and reached into the box for one. "Kinda stale.. but not bad." he mumbled, savoring the dog treat.

"Dog-tag necklace..." Mouth tossed a somewhat dirty silver dog-tag necklace back and it landed with a _clink_ on the floor. Carrie and Lindsey both pounced on it at the same time, and promptly began fighting over it.

"Rubber chicken on a stick.." he pitched said object into the air, and it landed on his head. "Dammit." Mouth cursed, gingerly lifting the rubber chicken by its stick, glancing around, and handed it to Data, who happened to be standing nearby.

"Guitar!" Mouth squealed happily. He plucked an old acoustic guitar out of a damp cardboard box, carefully flicked away a soggy wad of rotting Monopoly money that had stuck to the guitar neck, and stood up.

"Aaaaaand give a big hand to MOUTH DEVEREAUX, the guitar-playing, singing LEGEND!" Mouth declared loudly, in a deep voice. "Song requests, anyone?"

"I Feel Pretty!" Lindsey suggested, before she could stop herself.

Mouth smirked. "Nice choice there!" He fiddled with the guitar for a moment, then began strumming it in an ill-fated attempt to play it.

"I feel pretty! Oh, so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty, and GAY!" he sang at the top of his voice. "Oh, so pretty, that I hardly can believe I'm real. Tra-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!" Mouth paused for a second to be sure that he had an audience.

Carrie and Lindsey were laughing so hard that they were literally rolling on the floor shrieking with laughter (dog-tag necklace lying forgotten beside them), Mikey was laughing and trying to head off an asthma attack at the same time, Chunk was preoccupied with his dog biscuits and didn't seem to notice or care about Mouth's touching performance, and Data was laughing hard enough that tears were coming out of his eyes.

Satisfied that he had a worthy audience, Mouth continued singing. "I feel stunning! And entrancing. I feel like running and dancing for joy! And I knowwwwwwwwwww, I'm a pretty wonderful girl!" He played a few more (horrendous) notes on his guitar, then waved his arms in the air wildly, letting the guitar swing from the strap around his shoulder. "Thank you, thank you very much!"

As everyone except Chunk (who was STILL oblivious to everything but his semistale dog biscuits) applauded, still laughing like looneys, Mouth took a bow.

... and fell backwards, right on top of the guitar, which had been swinging from the back of his shoulder.

**-----------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: Ok, this chapter's like almost three times as long as the last one (approximately.. I think o.O) so hope you've enjoyed it!Please, I BEG YOU, review! **

**HellGirlAngel: Oh, yeah, the fruit-of-the-looms thing was pure genius, all hail Teddy! Glad you liked the chapter! Your Stand By Me fic keeps getting better, can't wait to see another update :)**


	10. Rest in Pieces, Nemmy

"Oh, frick it.." Mouth was stuck firmly into the guitar, having fallen over and sat on it with quite a lot of force.

"Are you okay?" Carrie asked immediately, her face full of concern.

"Yeah, other than the fact that my ass is crammed through a guitar. Great finale, huh?" he smiled his mischeivous grin.

"Here.." Carrie got up and extended a hand to Mouth. He took it, and she helped him up.

"God, that's gonna hurt in the morning." Mouth complained, wincing.

"You know my dad's going to kill me if he finds out about the guitar... that was his when he was a kid!" Mikey sounded worried.

"Not my problem." Mouth bounced slightly, still grasping Carrie's hand.

"Come on." Lindsey got up and walked around the attic, closely inspecting the floor boards.

Mikey followed her. "What are you doing?" He looked confused.

"Watch, you'll see." Lindsey replied simply, tapping different spots of the floor with her foot.

"Okay.." Mikey said slowly.

"I fear for her sanity." Mouth said to Carrie seriously. "She could be a dangerous psychotic killer!"

"Just like Mort!" Carrie murmured.

"What?" Mouth cocked his head.

"Dammit.. nevermind." Carrie sighed. _We have to quit making references to new, nonexistant movies! First Pirates, now Secret Window._

"Bingo!" Lindsey finally exclaimed, having found a floor board that was somewhat loosened. She got down on her knees and carefully pried it up with a metal bar that she'd found and was using in place of a crowbar.

"Genius." said Mikey, grinning.

"EVIL, LOONEY genius."Lindsey corrected him. "Where's the guitar?"

Mikey looked around, then got up and retrieved it. "Here." he handed it to her.

Lindsey mentally measured the guitar, and decided she'd need to pry up another floor board, so she took up the metal bar again and got to work. Soon enough the hole seemed big enough for the broken guitar, so she took it and put it in the floor.

"Rest in pieces, Nemmy!" Mouth said solemnly, standing beside Lindsey and tossing a fake flower he'd salvaged somewhere on the battered guitar. "We hardly knew him, and will always miss him!" He let out a dramatic sniff.

"... right." Lindsey looked at him oddly, laughed, and replaced the floor boards.

"Nemmy?" Carrie asked Mouth.

"I take great care in naming musical instruments. The voices inside my head tell me what to name them." Mouth said seriously, smiling slightly, and -still- holding Carrie's hand.

"Wow!" Carrie replied. "That's Mouth for you, folks.. special in the head!" She tapped the side of her head suggestively.

"You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!" Mouth said defensively.

"Yeah, sure, we'll go with that." Carrie chuckled.

"Thanks.. that was really great of you." Mikey said to Lindsey.

"No problem, I just didn't want you to get in trouble for it.. it was kind of my fault, because I told Mouth to sing I Feel Pretty, and he did, and ended up ruining the guitar..." Lindsey trailed off.

"It wasn't your fault.. Mouth can be just as klutzy as Chunk sometimes." Mikey reassured her.

Chunk chose that moment to trip over a rickety wooden chair and fall through a painting, badly wrecking both.

"... or, actually, not." Mikey corrected himself. "DEFINITELY not."

Lindsey looked at Mikey, who grinned sheepishly, and she immediately turned red.

_No blushing, damn you! _she scolded herself.

"I bet Chunk could get into the Guinness Book of World Records for breaking the most different things simultaneously, or something along those lines." Lindsey laughed slightly.

"Wow..." Mikey started laughing too. "That's possible?"

"Sure it is!" Mouth joined in. "We should do that! We seriously should! Get El Chunko into the ol' book of records!"

Chunk came up behind Mouth. "Gee, really?"

Mikey looked exasperated. "Chunk. He wants to get you in for being the WORLD'S BIGGEST KLUTZ. He WILL make fun of you." he said slowly, as though speaking to a small child.

Chunk's face fell momentarily, but he soon brightened again. "Yeah, but, I'd get my name in the book! And maybe even in the newspaper! And I'd be an ICON!" he said dramatically.

"Yeah. Sure. You'll be an _icon_ for being the world's biggest klutz!" Mouth snickered, clearly amused.

"... I didn't think you guys would take this seriously!" Lindsey said.

"Well, why not?" Mouth reasoned. "We could seriously do this. It would be amusing as shit!"

"What is with the phrase, 'amusing as shit'?" Carrie said randomly. "Really.. how amusing is shit, anyway? Not very amusing, right?"

Mouth and Carrie exchanged a look, and so did Mikey and Carrie, and all four of them burst out laughing. Data and Chunk didn't, however, since they were too busy planning how Chunk could simultaneously break lots and lots of objects.

"Yeah... we could, like, set up a domino effect here!" Chunk was saying excitedly. "Set up a CRAPLOAD of really breakable things, one after another, I bump into one, and they ALL break. And we catch it all on video." he paused for breath.

"Where are we going to get the breakable things?" Data's brow was furrowed in thought.

"Maybe Mikey could lend us some stuff..." Chunk said, looking around for him. "Oh, MIKEY.."

"Whatever it is, NO!" Mikey yelled back immediately.

"Hey, Chunko.. I'll give you enough stuff to get in the book of records on one condition." Mouth cut in quickly.

"What's that?" Chunk said suspiciously.

"Do the truffle shuffle."

"Oh, sure!" Chunk said eagerly. "That's a piece of cake.."

"... every day, in front of us, for the next five months." Mouth finished, smirking evilly.

"Wow.. that's evil genius at work.." Carrie laughed, looking admiringly at Mouth.

"That's what I do." he smiled at her, and combed his hair carefully. "So, Chunk?"

"Come on..." he whined.

"Do it!"

"Come on..."

"Do you want the stuff or not?" Mouth demanded.

"Fine..." Chunk pouted.

"Sweet!"

**----------------------------------------**

**A/N: Ok, I know lately this hasn't had much of anything to do with the movie, and it was originally supposed to be the girls tagging along for the Goonie adventure.. so I dunno, I might postpone the hunting-for-one-eyed-willie stuff until later chapters, or maybe even skip it. What do you think? Let me know! Please!**

**HellGirlAngel: Thanks for reviewing, and glad you liked the chapter! **


	11. Oh God, We're in a Looney Town

As Mouth and Chunk negotiated, Lindsey and Carrie had gone off into a corner for a moment of privacy, and Mikey and Data were talking casually about who knows what.

"Have you noticed anything.. funny?" Carrie asked Lindsey once they were out of earshot from the others.

"About the entire situation?" Lindsey said.

"Well, no duh. We fell asleep watching The Goonies and woke up in Mikey's house with the guys! Nothing weird about that, right?" Carrie said good naturedly, saying the last sentence with slight sarcasm and taking care to keep her voice down.

"Oh. Yeah. You have a point." Lindsey replied sheepishly. "I don't get it. We didn't even seem to find this the least bit odd, after we got over the shock of waking up with the cute jackass poking us."

"Hey! He's MY jackass, and he's too sexy to be cute!" Carrie said defensively, and very loudly.

At this point Mouth looked over at them and waved.

"He heard you." Lindsey laughed.

"Shit." Carrie muttered. "Of all the stuff we've discussed in the past thirty seconds, he HAD to hear the part about being my sexy jackass."

"Like it would have been better for him to hear the part about how we got here. He'd think we were looneys!"

"But we _are_ looneys."

"Oh. Right." Lindsey grinned, and suddenly a thought came into her head. "Hey, Carrie... " she said slowly. "Why haven't they found the map yet?"

"Huh?"

"You know.." Lindsey looked around and dropped her voice to a whisper. "In the movie, they had found the map by now, haven't they?"

Carrie thought for a moment before answering. "Yes..." she said slowly. "But in the movie, they DIDN'T bury a guitar named Nemmy, Mouth didn't get his butt stuck through a guitar or perform I Feel Pretty, they didn't play truth or dare, Mikey didn't almost get speared with a sword, Mouth didn't get his hair french braided, Chunk didn't... "

"Okay, okay, okay, I get the point." Lindsey interrupted. "I was just wondering. Maybe we should mention One Eyed Willy to them sometime if they don't get around to doing it, because I really wouldn't mind going on the Goonie adventure. I mean, it's something I would never pass up an opportunity to do. You know?"

"Yeah, we should mention it to them." Carrie agreed. "Only, let's not do it quite yet. I want to have some more time with the guys before we go treasure-hunting, because we're going to be in a hurry once we get into that and I don't know how much time we have here, if it's even real."

"Good idea. I wouldn't mind having some more time with Mik.. er, with the guys, either." Lindsey said, reddening slightly at the almost-slip up.

With that, the girls turned and walked back to the guys, who were drawing a plan on the attic floor with a piece of chalk that someone had found.

"Hey, what was that about?" Mouth asked, looking up as Lindsey and Carrie approached.

"Oh, nothing, Linds and I just needed to straighten a few things out." Carrie said smoothly.

"Oh, okay. I heard one of you yell something about a sexy jackass?" Mikey inquired, looking from Carrie to Lindsey.

"That was just Carrie rehearsing for drama." Lindsey jumped in.

"Oh." Mikey and Mouth said in unison, Mouth looking sort of rejected.

"So how's the Guinness thing going, guys?" Carrie asked. She noticed Mouth's look of rejection and stepped forward, slipping her hand into his and they smiled at each other.

"It's going good." Mikey said. "I personally think it's not going to work very well, but I'll help if you guys are all doing it."

"I'll help if you are." Lindsey said to Mikey quickly.

"Okay, then." he smiled at her.

"We're helping." Mouth and Carrie said together.

"This should be funny." Mouth said to Carrie, who nodded in agreement.

"So we're all going to work on it?" Data asked hopefully.

Mouth, Carrie, Mikey, Lindsey and Chunk all exchanged looks.

"Guess so." Mikey nodded.

"Yessss!" Chunk cheered, slinging an arm around Data, who was bouncing up and down quite energetically.

"When are we doing this?" Mouth said, as Chunk and Data bounced dangerously close to a large breakable looking porcelain floor lamp.

"Today?" Mikey suggested.

"All right then." Mouth spun around and began issuing orders. "Chunk, you come with me."

"Why?" Chunk whined.

"I'm going back to my place to swipe some stuff out of the garage. And you remember our little deal, right? You gotta come along and do the truffle shuffle for me. Data, you come along too."

"Why?" Data asked, still bouncing.

"So you can help me figure out how much stuff I need to get."

"Fine."

"Carrie, you better come along too." Mouth decided.

"Why?" Carrie asked.

Mouth paused, attempting to find a good excuse. "Just because." he said, unable to think of anything else.

"Fine with me." Carrie grinned at him.

"I'm leaving now. Mikey, Lindsey, Brand, you're all welcome to come along and watch Chunk do the truffle shuffle!" Mouth said. "I just love humiliating my best friends." he added as an afterthought.

Data and Chunk stopped bouncing, and Data's Slick Shoes accidentally activated and squirted oil all over, causing him to fall into the large, breakable looking porcelain floor lamp.

"He did it! Not me!" Chunk exclaimed, backing away from the lamp quickly. And tripping over a box full of old, antique china dishes.

"Yeah, but you did THAT!" Mikey shouted, exasperated. "Honest to freakin' God, Chunk, do you have to break everything?"

Chunk picked up the box and shook it carefully. To no one's surprise, it fell out of his hands and made a lot of loud shattering noises. Mikey winced.

"Now, why would you do that, you idiot?" Mouth asked Chunk, looking like he was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Shut up, Mouth!" Chunk muttered, scuffing his sneaker against the box of battered china.

"No cheek at Mouth!" Mouth said, shaking a finger at Chunk. "Remember our deal..."

"But you didn't say I had to be nice to get the stuff!" Chunk shot back.

"So? Being nice is always a bonus, because you never know if I might get sick of your mouth and decide to call the whole thing off."

"Haha... 'no cheek at Mouth'... 'sick of your mouth'..." Carrie pointed out to Lindsey, who stifled a giggle.

"Okay, men!" Mouth said, standing up straight. "Er... men and women. We're off to Mouth's house."

"Talking about yourself in the third person is a sign of insanity." Lindsey said to Mouth seriously as everyone followed Mouth to the door.

"Hey, I'm the sanest person you'll ever find in the Goon Docks." Mouth said defensively.

"Oh God, we're in a looney town!"

**----------------------------------------------------------**

**flikchick83: Yay, a new reviewer! I'm glad you like the story, and thanks for the idea, I'll definitely use it.The Goonies is one of my favorites too, and it has been since I was like eight years old, lol. Please review again and tell me what you think!**

**HellGirlAngel: Thanks for the review :) I love your SBM story, please update it soon, I can't wait to see what happens. :)**

**A/N - Okay, since both my reviewers (and one person who e-mailed) think that I should follow the movie, I'm going to do that and just add some twists and ideas of my own along the way. Sorry it took me so long to update but I was at my cousin's house for a week and couldn't write anything new. Readers, please review! Reviews are what makes the world go 'round! Well... my world, anyway. **


	12. Kissing Mikey

The six of them (everybody except Brand, who had lost interest in the attic, Chunk's Guinness idea, and everything else they were getting into) went downstairs and onto Mikey's porch.

"Who's coming?" Mouth asked, turning around and surveying the group.

Data, Chunk and Carrie stepped forward.

"Well, of course you guys are coming, I asked you to." Mouth said.

"More like commanded us to." Data muttered, sounding mildly peeved.

"I don't really feel like going along, you guys, my hay fever's acting up." Mikey told Mouth.

"And you ALWAYS break something." Carrie whispered to Lindsey.

Lindsey grinned. Carrie had once told her that the best line in The Goonies was 'My hay fever's acting up and you always break something'. Or maybe that was just Carrie referring to how Lindsey always broke at least three things every time she cleaned her room. Either way, it was funny.

"Fine then, pansy." Mouth said cheerfully. "I assume your sorry excuse for a brother isn't coming along, right?"

"I heard that, you stupid freak!" Brand's voice could be heard from inside. "If I get my hands on you ..."

".. I'm gonna hit you so hard your clothes will be out of style." everyone, including the girls, finished Brand's sentence.

"Alright then, I guess I was right and the sorry excuse of a brother is staying." Mouth said.

"Aaargh! You're gonna die!"

"If you can pull yourself away from your little barbells long enough, Dumbell!" Mouth called back to Brand. "Umm... Lindsey?"

"I'm staying with Mikey." Lindsey said quickly.

Mouth smirked knowingly at her, and then at Mikey. "Let's go, then, and leave _them _alone." he said to Chunk, Carrie and Data with an evil grin.

At that, the four of them trooped over to the place in the front yard where everyones' bikes were abandoned, and began figuring out who would ride which bike. Data hadn't ridden a bike over, and he didn't feel like running across the street to get his, so he rode Mikey's, Chunk rode his own, Mouth rode his own too, leaving Carrie to ride Brand's bike.

"Wait, Brand's bike might be too big for you to ride.. you could get hurt or something." Mouth said, concerned, to Carrie. "And if anything happens to his tires, he'll hurt you even worse. Come on, you can ride on my bike with me."

"Really?" Carrie asked. "Wow.. that's really nice of you."

"Nice is my middle name." Mouth smiled at her.

Carrie returned the smile. Mouth had gotten himself on his bike, he motioned for Carrie to get on, and she carefully balanced herself on the stunt pegs behind the pedals, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Mikey and Lindsey were still standing on the porch together, watching everyone else get on their bikes.

"Wow." Mikey squinted at Mouth. "Is he actually letting Carrie ride on his bike?"

"I think so." Lindsey replied. "That's so sweet of him." After a moment's thought, she added, "But why does he have the pegs _behind_ the pedals? They're supposed to go in front, aren't they?"

"Yeah, I think you're right. But Mouth paid Chunk to put the pegs on for him, and Chunk's the village idiot so of course he did it wrong." Mikey said, grinning slightly at the memory.

"I thought you told us that Mouth is the village idiot." Lindsey corrected him.

"How idiotic can he be if the guy speaks fluent Spanish? Besides, there's no law saying that you can only have one village idiot, right?"

"That's true." Lindsey agreed, and she noticed that while they were talking, everyone else had left. "Do we go back inside?"

"Nah." Mikey said. "Brand will give me hell for some reason or another."

"Oh. I know how brothers are."

"Yeah." Mikey said, and for a moment there was a slightly awkward silence. "Want to sit on the porch swing for a while?" he suggested after a few seconds.

"Sure." They walked over to the other end of the porch and sat down on the small porch swing together.

_Why is this so quiet? _Lindsey thought, sneaking a side-glance at Mikey and his thoughtful eyes, his perfectly messy hair, his adorably innocent face. _I know I like him, just a little.. but it wouldn't be this weird if he didn't know. Would it?_

Terrified by the thought that Mikey might have caught on to the fact that she liked him, Lindsey quickly tried to strike up conversation. "So.. what kind of things do you do with your friends here?" she asked Mikey.

"There's a store that we go to and hang out sometimes. Once Chunk paid Mouth to stick pencils up his nose and walk back and forth through the store chanting 'I am a walrus!' over and over again."

Lindsey snickered. This sounded so much like something she would do with Carrie, that it was scary. "How long did he do that?"

"Until he got kicked out. Three or four hours, I guess. You should've BEEN there.. it was so funny. People started whispering about a poor hungry mental patient and pointing at him after a while."

The mental image of Mouth walking around with pencils up his nose, pretending to be a walrus and having people think he was a 'poor hungry mental patient' was too much for Lindsey, and she nearly fell off the swing laughing.

"Wow.. that is too funny." she said finally, once she could stop laughing. "Once Carrie and I walked through the mall where we live.. er, lived, and I had on this huge purple velvet hat, and we started chanting 'All hail Bunky the fat-assed clown'."

Mikey's eyes widened. "Bunky.. the fat-assed CLOWN?" he choked out, trying not to laugh.

"Oh yeah! We went right past these people coming out of Victoria's Secret and they were giving us looks like we were completely out of our mind."

"You have no idea how much I wish Mouth and I could have been there." Mikey chuckled. "Seriously. Mouth would have joined arms with Carrie and SCREAMED 'all hail Bunky the fat-assed clown', and you probably could've convinced me to do it after a few tries."

The two of them sat on the porch swing together for a long time, talking about funny, random things they or their friends had done.

"Last year, for Halloween, Mouth decided to go as someone out of the Rocky Horror Picture movie, and it was the scariest thing, he put on fishnet stockings and bright red lipstick, and his cousin's corset, and everything.. he scared a LOT of people that year!" Mikey was telling her at one point.

"MOUTH actually went trick-or-treating as someone out of the ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW?" Lindsey screeched. She started laughing hysterically, and fell off the porch swing, landing on her back, and Mikey joined her a second later, laughing just as hard.

Propping himself up off the porch floor with his elbows, he abruptly stopped laughing and leaned over, his face dangerously close to Lindsey's.

She immediately quit laughing, and she could feel her heart skip a beat.

Mikey leaned even closer, and they kissed. As suddenly as it was initiated, the kiss ended, and Mikey pulled back.

"What was that for?" Lindsey asked softly, wanting to make sure it wasn't some cruel joke.

Mikey looked at her, an anxious expression on his face and in his eyes. "Take a good guess." He immediately dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Do it again?"

Mikey looked up, as though he thought he hadn't heard correctly.

"I wasn't ready for it the first time." she explained.

He smiled, and they kissed again.

"Shame, shame!" came a voice from behind them.

Mikey and Lindsey quickly pulled apart to see Data standing on the porch steps about three feet away from where they were on the floor. Chunk was attempting to park his bike without killing himself, and Mouth was holding hands with Carrie and snickering.

"Come on Mikey, slip her the tongue!" Mouth said eagerly.

"That's disgusting. Now I can't even look." Carrie said, finding Mouth's line quite familiar from the movie.

Chunk's bike finally got the best of him. "Ah, shit!"

**----------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: The 'all hail Bunky the fat-assed clown' thing really did happen with me and my best friend, haha XD**

**Cabbeh: Eeeee! A new reviewer! Thanks for the constructive criticism (I'll try and use it to improve the story), and I'm glad you liked the 'sexy jackass' thing, that just came off the top of my weird head lol. Thanks for reviewing, and please review again!**

**flikchick83: Yeah, I didn't really think about the girls' reactions until recently, so I decided to clear that up to avoid confusions and such. :) Thanks for the review!**

**HellGirlAngel: Glad you liked the chapter, thanks for the review! **


	13. Project: Break Lots of Stuff

"Uh... yo." Mikey said to the Goonies and Carrie, turning red.

"What was that all about?" Mouth asked him, smirking devilishly.

"What do you think it was, genius?" Mikey turned even redder.

"I think Mikey's in LOOOOVVVEEE!" sang Mouth triumphantly.

At the same time, Lindsey was having the same conversation with Carrie, except Carrie was being a LOT less annoying about it.

"Was that what it looked like?" Carrie asked Lindsey.

"Well, what did it look like to you?" Lindsey smiled slightly. "And whatever you do, DON'T say 'forty second frencher'!" she added.

"For-ty sec-ond french-er!" chanted Mouth gleefully, skipping in place. Apparently, he had been listening to their conversation.

"Mouth, don't skip, it makes you look like a Peter Pansy." Carrie told him, truthfully.

Lindsey ignored what Mouth said and poked him in the side.

Mouth prodded her back. "No one pokes Mouth and gets away with it!"

"Don't prod me, you bastard, your hands are dirty!" Lindsey exclaimed, toppling over backwards.

Mouth raised an eyebrow and cocked his head like a curious puppy. He examined his hands. "Ah. I guess they are." He stepped forward and poked Lindsey over and over again.

"You're annoying." Lindsey commented, sitting up and shaking a few strands of brown hair out of her eyes.

Mouth continued poking her. "And you're weird."

"Yeah, but so what? Everyone's weird." Lindsey smacked his hand away and stood up, and Mouth gave up on the pokefest.

Mouth turned to Carrie. "Do I really look like a 'Peter Pansy' when I skip?" he asked, frowning.

Carrie stared at him for a moment. "Aww! Don't _frown_ at me like that, it's too cute." she exclaimed, hugging him.

"I feel loved." he replied, grinning happily.

"To answer the question, you do look like a pansy when you skip like that." Mikey told Mouth seriously.

"I am not a pansy!" Mouth howled.

"Of course you're not." Carrie said consolingly.

"He just LOOKS like one." Mikey mouthed to Lindsey.

Before Mouth could attack Mikey, Chunk interrupted.

"You guys, let's do this record thing already!" he whined.

"Fine, fine." grumbled Mouth. "I'll go get the stuff. Data, you got the camera?"

"Yeah." Data replied. "I'll go get it." he went back to the bikes and unstrapped a large video camera from the back of one of them.

Mouth followed Data back to the bikes and untied a cardboard box from the back of his. "I don't know how the hell I managed to balance with this thing on my bike," he complained, setting it on the ground. He went to Chunk's bike and untied another box, sat it next to the other one, and walked back to the porch where everyone else was.

"Done." Mouth announced. "Let's do this thing!"

"Amen!" everyone else said in unison (a bit creepy), walking off the porch and into the front yard.

Chunk attempted to rip the tape off a box to get it open, and fell over backwards on Data's feet.

"Ow! You klutz." complained Data, attempting to pull his feet out from under Chunk. "Here, move away from the box.."

Chunk obeyed and stepped away from the box, and Data pulled a Swiss army knife out from his trench coat pockets and used it to cut the tape off.

"Awesome!" Chunk exclaimed, reaching into the box and pulling out lots of intricate glasses, vases and the like. "Mouth, these are perfect!"

Mouth crossed his arms and smiled his cheeky grin. "Yup. And it's worth it just to see you do the truffle shuffle over and over again.."

"Ah, shut up." Chunk pouted, carefully setting a blue glass bowl on the grass.

Mikey had begun looking through the second box of stuff. Apparently, he had found some odd looking stuff, which he laid out on the lawn next to him. A box of light bulbs, a coffee mug with 'suck my coffee drinking ass' on it, a black porcelian swan with red glowing eyes, among other things.

Lindsey looked through what Mikey had laid out. "A fork?" she asked, holding it up. "This isn't exactly breakable."

Mouth looked at it. "Ohh. It has a dried bean or something on it." He paused. "I remember the day I had those for lunch..."

Chunk looked hungry, Mikey looked revolted, Data looked confused, and the girls looked amused.

"Look at this. A Care Bears night-light?" Lindsey held up said item and raised an eyebrow.

Mouth's face and neck immediately turned scarlet. "Not mine!" he declared. "It must have belonged to, err, my sister."

"You're an only child, Mouth." Mikey pointed out.

"Thank you for enlightening us, Mikey!" Lindsey giggled.

Carrie seemed to be having a mental battle with herself. She didn't want to laugh at Mouth, but good GOD, a CARE BEARS NIGHT-LIGHT?

"It's okay, Mouth. I'm sure the night-light isn't yours." she finally said.

"Of course it's not mine." Mouth insisted.

Cue shifty eyes.

"Whose is it then? Your dad's?" Mikey asked innocently.

Mouth rolled his eyes. "Shit, no."

"Let me think. You live with your dad. You have no siblings. There is no one else in the house. I bet that Finkelstein the Leprechaun left it there!" Mikey suggested brightly.

Mouth opened his mouth to protest, shut it, and sighed in defeat. "Yeah, sure. It belongs to... Finkelstein. The leprechaun."

"Mouth doesn't got no leprechaun!" protested Data. "Mouth likes Sunny and Lucky and the rest of the Care Bears! That's why he got the night-light!"

"I find myself wondering why you know the names of the Care Bears." Carrie said to Data, grinning.

"Who doesn't?" Data replied smartly, smirking.

"People who don't like Care Bears, for one."

"... oh." Data's grin faded.

"Okay, guys, let's forget this fiasco and get to work on the breaking stuff." Mouth said quickly, wanting to drop the subject.

"Yeah, really." Chunk agreed.

"Mikey, Data, Lindsey, you work on that box." Mouth pointed. "Carrie, me and Chunk will work on this one."

Lindsey and the other two guys got to work on their box, carefully sorting through the different things and arranging them for a domino effect.

"This will be... interesting." Mikey said, artistically leaning some lightbulbs against a vase.

"Oh yeah." Lindsey agreed, placing Mouth's Care Bears night-light in clear view. "We get to watch Chunk cause lots of destruction, how couldn't it be interesting?"

"Poor guy." Mikey said, indicating Chunk. "Mouth's never gonna let him live this down, if it works."

"Chunk is such an idiot!" Data said.

"He's not an idiot..." Mikey replied.

"Just, uh, naive." Lindsey finished his sentence.

"Yeah, that." Mikey sighed.

"Mouth, we're done!" Data called out, since they had finished arranging the items from their box.

"We're not!" Mouth called back, a large glass lampshade on his head.

"I feel intelligent!" Chunk added, waving around the lamp that Mouth had taken the shade from.

"Hello Wisconsin!" shouted Carrie randomly.

"This is Oregon, not Wisconsin." Mouth corrected her.

"Hmm." Mikey mused, walking around them in a circle and examining what they had accomplished. "You've stacked a few cracked drinking glasses. Three, to be exact."

"Good job!" Mouth said, twisting his arm behind his back at a weird angle and moving his hand awkwardly.

"What are you doing?" Carrie inquired, looking at him funnily.

"I'm giving myself a pat on the back, for a job well done." Mouth replied proudly. "It's not as easy as it looks!"

Lindsey and Carrie exchanged a look and burst out laughing. Chunk, Mikey and Data just looked at Mouth like he was crazy.

Mouth stopped patting himself on the back and scowled at the rest of the boys.

"Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me!" Mouth told them seriously.

"Wow." Mikey said. "Just.. wow."

"Exactly." Mouth agreed, taking the lampshade off his head and randomly kissing Carrie, who looked happy.

"Let's get back to work." Mikey sighed, removing the lampshade from Mouth's hands and putting it at a good spot near the rest of the stuff.

Ten minutes and a lot of weird Mouth humor later, the girls and the Goonies had finished preparing for Project: Record Chunk Breaking Lots of Stuff.

"Alright, Goonies and gentlewomen!" Mouth began. "We are about to make Astorian history!"

Mikey and Lindsey exchanged a look.

"Gentlewomen... that's a new one." Mikey whispered.

"So, places, everyone!" Mouth snapped his fingers, and Chunk ran over to the breakable object arrangement and stood nearby, and Data got the camera.

"Un-needed lights, cameras, clumsy action!" Mouth cried, taking the camera and holding it to his shoulder.

"Aww, how adorable, my Mouth is being a director!" Carrie squealed quietly to Lindsey, who nodded in agreement.

Mikey looked startled. "Adorable? Mouth? He is?" he asked, looking jealous and weirded out at the same time.

"Not as adorable as.." Lindsey began.

"NOW!" screamed Mouth, turning on the camera and aiming it at Chunk.

"Who?" Mikey asked quietly, taking no notice of Mouth and Chunk.

"... you." Lindsey finished, blushing.

Chunk had 'fallen' backwards and now a crapload of stuff was falling like dominoes and breaking, one thing after another, and Mouth was grinning happily because all was going as planned.

Mikey kissed Lindsey suddenly, and they both lost balance and fell on the lawn. Right in clear view of Mouth and his camera. Oblivious to everything else, they continued kissing on the grass until they were rudely interrupted by Mouth.

"Hey, guys, in case you hadn't noticed.. I mean, you _were_ deeply engaged in a nice game of snogging-in-Mikey's-front-yard... but we did it!"

"Did what?" Mikey asked breathlessly, his hair messy and blowing around in the slight breeze.

"Jesus! The RECORD thing." Mouth sighed.

"Ohh yeah! Did you get it on tape?"

"No duh! Let's watch it." Mouth said, exchanging a knowing smirk with Data and Chunk, and recieving a stern look from Carrie.

Mikey and Lindsey got up off the grass and followed everyone else inside.

"I've got the world in my hands!" Mouth cried, pumping his fist in the air and waving the video tape around in his other hand. "Now, Mikey, where the hell is your VCR?"

**--------------------------------------------**

**Cabbeh: Yup, last chapter was shortish, so this one's about... -thinks- 400 words longer. XD Enjoy!**

**Get A Room: Heyy, a new reviewer! I'm glad you're liking the story, please review again. I luff repeat reviewers.**

**HellGirlAngel: Thanks for the review, glad you liked the chapter.**


	14. Mustard Fights and Overnights

Ten minutes later, everyone was settled in the living room. Mouth had insisted on watching the tape of Chunk's "success", so they were about to watch it now. Lindsey and Mikey were sitting next to each other on the floor, Chunk and Data were perched on the back of the couch, and Carrie and Mouth were sprawled across the couch together kissing like there was no tomorrow.

"Come on, the tape isn't going to play itself!" Data complained, interrupting Mouth and Carrie's kissfest.

"Oh yeah." Mouth mumbled, reluctantly pulling back from Carrie to turn on the VCR. After flicking the power button to 'on' and pressing 'play', he fell backwards onto the couch again and lay back. "Okay, guys, pay close attention to this." he said with enthusiasm. "Especially you two!" he said to Mikey and Lindsey.

"Why us?" Mikey asked curiously.

"Because you were too busy making good use of your lips to see us do it the first time." Mouth shot back. "Now shut up and watch!"

Lindsey and Mikey gave Mouth a look that could kill, and turned their attention back to the TV. Chunk grinned proudly as he watched himself break the record on tape, and Mouth was leaning forward, almost falling off the couch as he tried to pay close attention to the screen. Data attempted to pickpocket Chunk and relieve him of a half-eaten candy bar, and promptly got his hand slapped for his trouble.

"Ow!" Data complained. "What was that for?"

"The candy bar is MINE, and MINE only." Chunk replied, carefully tucking the chocolate back into his pocket.

"Jeez, Mouth, you suck at handling a camera." Mikey commented. The camera view was unsteady and Mouth's fingertips were visible, as he had apparently rested his fingers on the lense while recording.

"Big deal." Carrie replied, looking adoringly at Mouth, who returned the look.

"Of course it is ..." Mikey began, trailing off as he realized what was in the background on the screen.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" he and Lindsey shouted in unison.

"I think you guys know what it is." Chunk smirked.

Mouth immediately began laughing so hard he was hardly making any noise. "I got your _antics_ on film!" he shrieked, gasping for breath. He almost rolled off the couch again and was saved by Carrie, who reached out and pulled him back onto the couch.

"What the hell, Mouth!" Mikey said angrily, jumping up. "Why'd you do that?"

Chunk and Data had finally noticed that World War Three as forming around them, and they both started laughing and cheering.

"Go Mikey!" cheered Data, clapping.

"Yeahhh Walsh!" Chunk shouted, and pumped a fist in the air.

Mouth turned to them and pouted. "Oh sure, MIKEY gets all the support." he said in mock sadness. "I feel.. betrayed. Sigh. I'll never be the same again.. "

"Awww... drama queen!" Carrie and Lindsey cooed together.

At that, Mikey's head spun around so fast that everyone in the room could hear his neck crick.

"I mean, 'ewww, drama queen!'." Lindsey corrected herself. "Better?" She looked at Mikey, amused by his obvious jealousy, and Mouth looked at Mikey too, amused that he was the object of Mikey's jealousy.

"Yes." Mikey said, sounding relieved, and he ran his fingers through his short hair.

"I don't care what Mike or Linds say, I stand by my former statement." Carrie giggled, exchanging a sweet look with Mouth.

"Can't I be a drama KING?" Mouth wondered. " 'Cause you know, Data, you're the drama queen around here." he paused. "Also, I'd have to be female to be a queen. Or a crossdresser."

Mikey and Lindsey burst out laughing, remembering the story from earlier.

"How can you be so sure you're not?" Lindsey managed to choke out, still laughing crazily.

Mouth looked confused. "I'm pretty sure I'm not female. I wasn't last time I checked, anyway."

"Not that, you idiot!" Mikey chuckled. "How can you be so sure you're not a crossdresser?"

Mouth reddened. "Oh, uh, believe me.. " he coughed nervously, his eyes darting around. " ... I'm not."

"But Mouth, remember that one time... "Chunk began, and Mouth promptly covered his mouth with a hand.

"Don't say it!" Mouth hissed.

Lindsey, Mikey, Data and Carrie were all watching this and laughing.

"Don't say what?" Chunk replied innocently. "That you've worn women's clothes before?"

Mouth turned from red to purple. "YES, THAT!" he screeched furiously.

Chunk broke out in song and began doing a ridiculously elaborate dance. "Mouth's just a sweet transvestite, from transsexual Transylvania!" he sang.

Mouth went from purple to white in about three seconds and made a flying tackle onto Chunk. "AAARGH... YOU DIE NOW!" he shouted furiously.

"Holy crap." Data said simply, stuffing his face with popcorn.

"Wow." Mikey said, looking on. "Just, wow."

"Exactly." Lindsey agreed, watching Mouth and Chunk attempt to kill each other. "Hey Data, give me some of your popcorn."

Carrie, however, looked furious. "MOUTH DEVEREAUX, GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" she yelled.

Mouth froze, his fist inches from Chunk's face. He got off Chunk, dusted himself off, and walked over to Carrie. "Sorry, sweetheart." he said calmly.

Carrie hugged him. 'I feel powerful', she mouthed to Lindsey, who tried not to laugh. "It's okay, honey, I just can't have you beating up guys and getting yourself hurt!" she said to Mouth.

"Oh, sure, you only care about _him_ getting hurt." Chunk said unhappily, still lying on the floor. His hair was very messy and his Hawaiian flowered shirt was torn.

Carrie evidently hadn't heard Chunk, as she and Mouth had reverted to lovey-dovey mode, and were now slumped on the floor kissing again.

"Ah, shit." Chunk muttered, looking away.

Mikey and Lindsey chuckled. "They look happy, don't they?" Lindsey said, smiling slightly.

"Yeah." Mikey replied, not really paying attention. Suddenly, he leaned over and kissed her, completely on impulse.

"Jesus!" Data exclaimed to Chunk. "Now we have TWO sets of kissy idiots!"

"Yeah." Chunk frowned. "Damn, this is depressing. They're making me lonely."

Data eyed Chunk warily. After a moment, he replied. "Uh, no offense, but I don't think I can help you with that."

Chunk whacked Data. "Duh."

Data got an evil gleam in his eyes, and he leaned over to whisper with Chunk. After a quick private conversation, the two walked casually into the kitchen and returned with Data's coat bulging suspiciously. Of course, nobody noticed it, because everyone was too busy, for a lack of a better word. Data sat down on the couch right near the two couples, remained still for fifteen seconds or so, and then quickly yanked a squirt gun out.

"Say mustard, guys!" Data said quietly, and he aimed and squirted at Mouth and Carrie, who were completely oblivious to everything going on around them.

"Dang, you're no fun." Chunk mumbled, and then Data aimed and squirted at Mikey and Lindsey.

Mikey pulled back quickly. "What... the... fudge.. did.. you.. put... down... my... neck?" Mikey asked slowly.

"Mustard." Chunk replied matter-of-factly.

Mikey rubbed his neck gingerly. "Oh, EWWW." he muttered, looking at his mustardy hand.

Lindsey glared at Data and Chunk. "YOU GOT CONDIMENTS IN MY HAIR." she said menacingly.

"Um.. sorry?" they replied together, exchanging shifty, nervous glances.

Mouth sat up, looking quite disheveled. "Did someone use the words 'condiments' and 'hair' in the same sentence?" he asked nervously.

"Yes. Take a look at your own." Lindsey told Mouth, still glaring at Data and Chunk.

Mouth quickly pulled a small mirror out of his pocket and looked at himself in it. "SHIIIIIIIIT!" he swore. "Goddamn shit-sucking MUSTARD!"

"Nice use of 'shit'." Carrie told him.

He flashed her a quick grin. "Thanks." Then he turned to the rest of the Goonies and Lindsey. "WHO did this?"

Mikey and Lindsey pointed at Data and Chunk.

Data and Chunk pointed at the fish tank.

Carrie watched in amusement. "The fish tank did it?" she asked.

"AAIIIIIII!" Mouth let out an enraged shout and launched himself into the air, landed on his toes, almost lost his balance, righted himself, and shot like a bullet out of a gun after Data and Chunk.

"Guys, you had better go home." Mrs. Walsh called from upstairs.

"Shit. She came home while we were doing something or other." Mikey muttered.

"Well, no shit, Sherlock," Mouth replied. "It's eleven already, she came back a while ago."

Mikey and Mouth had a fast whispered conversation.

"We're sleeping over here." Mouth announced. "That is, if it's okay with YOU, Mrs. Walsh." he added, making puppy-dog eyes at her.

"Aww, of course it is, Clark. We're only going to be here for one more weekend, so you kids might as well make the most of it." Mrs. Walsh smiled warmly at Mouth. "Mikey, get some sleeping bags and blankets for your friend. There are some in the upstairs closet."

With that, she turned around and went back upstairs.

"You heard her, Chunk, go get the blankets." Mikey said the moment she was out of earshot.

"But..." Chunk began to protest.

"You heard me." Mikey replied. "And you know where they are."

Mouth and Carrie had already gone back to kissing and cuddling on the floor, and with Mikey's final word, Mikey and Lindsey flopped onto the couch and started kissing.

"Why do I bother?" Chunk mumbled, heading upstairs.

A few minutes later, Chunk returned with blankets for everyone, and Brand followed him with pillows.

"I got Brand to help get stuff..." Chunk explained, throwing everything down.

Brand eyed the two cuddling couples.

"If Mom comes in here, you guys are so screwed." Brand told them. He thought for a moment, and added, "Boys in the living room, girls in Mikey's room.", apparently not trusting them.

"Screw that." Mikey said, rolling off the couch and grabbing blankets to pass out. "Everyone, get a blanket, collapse where you like."

"We're getting up early tomorrow." Mouth said. "So let's just go to sleep. We have to get up early and do everything, all day! We can't waste a minute! This is our last Goonie weekend!"

"You know what we should do?" Lindsey said suddenly. "I heard of this guy, One Eyed Willy.." she began, nodding at Carrie.

"Yeah, and he hid some treasure around here... "

"Yeahhh! I heard of that guy!" Mikey joined in enthusiastically. "My dad told me about him! There's a map and everything, up in the attic somewhere."

"Wait, wait, what?" Chunk interrupted.

"He buried treasure! Around here!" Mikey said excitedly. "We could find it and save the Goon Docks!"

**---------------------------------------------------**

**Everyone, please keep reviewing! More reviews I get, the faster I update! I HEART MY REVIEWERS!**

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	15. Losing Clothes and Finding the Map

Ten minutes later, Mikey had explained the entire story of One Eyed Willy and his treasure to the girls and the Goonies. Now they were sprawled in various positions across the living room, in no way planning to sleep. Mouth was standing on his head against one wall, his face bright red from blood rushing to his head and from the effort of staying upside-down. Chunk was crammed under the coffee table for some unknown reason (having something to do with Mouth, of course) and contently eating a candy bar, as Data sat next to him and attempted to steal bits of the candy, to no avail. Mikey was sitting cross-legged on his navy blue sleeping bag, and Lindsey and Carrie were both sitting upside-down on the couch, their heads hanging off the seat edge and their feet propped against the couch back.

"Are we going to wait until tomorrow to do this?" Chunk asked.

"Why would we?" Mouth replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Because I'm _tired_ and _hungry_ and I wanna go to sleep." Chunk said, immediately assuming his best whiney voice.

"Well then, too flipping bad." Mouth said cheerfully, tossing his legs away from the wall and flipping to his feet. He stood up, running a comb through his hair and wincing. "I propose we all go wash the mustard off.. " he glared at Chunk and Data at this point. ".. and then we go looking for One Eyed Willy."

"You got condiments in your hair." Carrie giggled, enjoying the look of annoyance on Mouth's face. He was obsessed with his hair and having mustard in it wasn't fun at all to him.

"I knowww." Mouth whined. "So I call the shower first!" he cried, jumping up and running to the bathroom to barracade himself inside.

"You know, Mouth..." Mikey called. "You don't have to barracade the door! See, there's this fancy thing that some of us like to call a 'lock' on that door, and you can keep people out that way!" he said in a mock amazed voice.

After a short pause, Mouth answered. "Oh." he sounded a bit sheepish, and they could hear scuffles, grunts and noises as he moved heavy objects away from the door.

"Okay, better." Mikey said, chuckling slightly.

"Yeah." Mouth called back shortly, and then he turned the shower on and all noise was drowned out.

"Rocket scientist." Mikey said under his breath, laughing.

"That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like him." Carrie sang.

"Guys are so cute when they're clueless." Lindsey agreed with a smirk.

Mikey sat down on the floor, crosslegged, and began to get a lost, little-boy look on his face, undoubtedly hoping Lindsey would notice.

"You're the most clueless of them all, Mikey." Lindsey assured him.

"I'm bored." Data announced. As he stood up, everyone else had to fight back laughter, and Mikey let out an odd noise that sounded like a cross between a snort and a choking sound. Stuck to the back of Data's long coat was a sign that read 'Kick My Double Oh Negative Ass!' written in what looked suspiciously like chocolate syrup, undoubtedly Chunk's work of art.

"What?" Data looked around for the source of their laughter. "What's so funny?"

"Nice back-art, Double Oh Negative." sniggered Carrie.

"... what is back art?" Data asked, an utterly confused look on his face.

"CHUNK DID IT!" everyone yelled at once, except for Chunk, who yelled "MIKEY DID IT!", and intelligently pointed to Carrie instead of Mikey.

"HE'S Mikey, smart guy." Lindsey told Chunk, pointing to Mikey.

At this moment, Mouth tenatively peeked his head out of the bathroom. "Mikey, you don't have any towels in here." he said, sounding annoyed.

"So you're standing there naked and peeking around doors at us? Real classy." Mikey replied, rolling his eyes and stretching out on the floor.

At this, Lindsey and Carrie both burst into uncontrollable fits of giggles, and Lindsey actually rolled partway under the couch.

"No! I mean.. yes." Mouth stammered. "I'm... naked."

"SO GET DRESSED." Mikey said slowly, looking at Mouth as though he were stupid.

Mouth uneasily shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and reddened slightly. "See, uh, that's kind of the problem. I can't, because.. "

"YOU'RE CONVERTING TO NUDISTDOM!" Chunk shrieked, looking geniunely astounded.

"NO!" Mouth protested, reddening. "I, erm, I kind of had a battle with the toilet in here.. see, I was standing on it and trying to see if there were towels on that top shelf in there, and I had my clothes in one hand, and they fell..." he trailed off.

"You dropped your clothes in our TOILET?" Mikey moaned. "You idiot!"

"Just give me something to wear and shut up." Mouth snapped, going even redder.

"Very coordinated of you, Mouth." Lindsey said. She dissolved into giggles again.

"Yeah, thank you." Mouth said uncertainly, running his fingers through his hair.

"Come on." Mikey sighed and started up the stairs to his room.

"Uh.. coming!" Mouth called, looking frantically around for something to preserve his modesty with. He spied a painting on the wall opposite the bathroom, and leaned across the hall to grab it, then he dashed upstairs after Mikey, partially hiding behind the painting.

Carrie and Lindsey started laughing yet again, finding the entire situation extremely humorous. Data looked purely confused, and Chunk looked semi disgusted.

Mikey and Mouth soon returned, Mouth wearing an army green t-shirt and some black jeans borrowed from Mikey, and clutching the painting he had taken off the wall.

"Woo! He's dressed!" Carrie said in mock amazement, pretending to faint and landing perfectly on a pillow lying on the floor.

"Miracles DO happen!" Lindsey cried, imitating Carrie's faux faint, but accidentally bouncing her head off the coffee table. "OW!"

"Now who's the coordinated one?" Mouth teased, reaching into his pocket for his comb, because his hair was wet and plastered to his head.

"Ow." Lindsey said simply, lying completely still.

"Damn it!" Mouth shouted unhappily, feeling in his pockets.

"What?" Carrie asked him.

"My comb went in the toilet with my clothes." he mumbled sadly.

Mikey started laughing. "That'll make your hair smell interesting, now won't it?"

"Screw you." Mouth got up and started carefully spiking his hair up with his fingers. "How's it look?" he asked, turning around to model his hair.

"Cute." Carrie told him. "You should do your hair like that all the time. It's adorable."

Mikey headed towards the bathroom. "Ok, I'm gonna go de-mustardize myself."

Lindsey finally attempted to sit up and promptly hit her head on the coffee table again. "I'm okay..." she mumbled, rubbing her head.

A half hour later, everyone except Chunk and Data had gotten showers and no longer smelled like condiments, and Mikey was now wearing a new, clean, unmustardy white t-shirt and blue jeans.

"Where's the map, Mikey?" Mouth demanded. "I want to go find some rich stuff!"

Mikey turned and walked up the attic steps. "I'll go find it." he called down.

"I'm coming too!" Lindsey said immediately, running up the stairs after Mikey.

Mouth stood still for a moment, and then shrugged. "Forget this, I'm going up. Maybe I can find the map before Mikey does."

Carrie got up and followed him, leaving Data and Chunk alone.

"I'm hungry." Data said decidedly. He got up and went to the kitchen, his long coat flapping behind him and nearly tripping him.

"Anything good?" Chunk called to Data after a moment.

"There's some spray cheese in here." Data called back.

"SPRAY CHEESE!" screamed Chunk happily, leaping up so fast that he tripped out of one shoe. "Dammit!" he muttered, stopping to pull the sneaker back on.

Data came back into the room with two cans of spray cheese, and he pointed one at Chunk and sprayed it in his face. "Here you go!" Data said cheerfully.

Chunk sputtered for a second and wiped some cheese out of his eyes. "Now WHY did you do that?"

"Cause it's funny." Data said matter-of-factly, reaching out and swiping some cheese off Chunk's face with one finger.

Meanwhile, Mikey was in the attic, leaning over inside a large wooden chest and feeling around inside for the map.

"Is it in there?" Lindsey asked, standing on her toes and trying to reach a fragment of withered, yellowing paper at the bottom of the chest.

"Probably not." Mouth decided, coming up behind them and pushing Mikey into the chest.

"Ooowmph!" Mikey let out a muffled shout of protest. He was now standing on his head inside the chest and wildly kicking his legs to try and right himself, and he accidentally kicked Lindsey off balance and into the chest with him.

"Demolition is good." Mouth decided.

**----------------**

**My dear reviewers:**

**flikchick83: I'm glad you like the chapter. :) The treasure hunt should start in the next chap, right after they find the map.**

**vampy8: NEW REVIEWER! Ohh yeah, I totally agree, Mouth is the coolest! **

**HellGirlAngel: Yay, I'm happy you like the chapter. :)**

**Get A Room Kibel: Awesome, I love that story, you should keep it up and update soon :)**

**DramaticAngel: I'm really glad you love it. :) My heart beats for making reviewers happy.**

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**A/N: .. what would you guys think if I made this a Stand by Me crossover somehow? **


	16. One Eyed Willy, Here We Come

"Ughh!" Mikey let out an exasperated moan, his face red and his arms tangled behind his head in an exceptionally painful looking way . "Mouth, help us out of here!"

"No can do." Mouth said cheerfully, walking away. He accidentally tripped over a picture frame, almost landed on his face, and straightened up, blushing slightly.

"Oy! Normandy boy!" called Lindsey from inside the box. "What'd you just knock over, you klutz? Oh, and.. Nice ass!"

"Yeah well.. nice face!" Mouth shot back, then went red all over and slinked away to Carrie, who was trying not to laugh at the 'nice ass' comment.

"Great comeback." Lindsey called back sarcastically.

Mikey had somehow turned himself right side up inside the chest and stepped out of it, then helped Lindsey out. His hair was ruffled up in the back and stuck up straight, and he had scraped his arm on something inside the chest.

"Mouth, when you drop something, pick it up!" Mikey said, exasperated, picking up the picture frame that Mouth had tripped over. He was about to drop it into the chest, when he caught a glimpse of what was behind the glass, and his mouth dropped open.

"What'd you find?" Lindsey asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"You'll see in a minute." Mikey said. "Oh, CHUNK.."

The attic door opened and Chunk climbed up into the attic. "Aww, come on Mikey, I didn't break anything..." he complained, approaching Mikey and Lindsey.

"I know." Mikey interrupted him. "Just hold this." He said, holding out the picture to Chunk. Lindsey grinned, knowing what was about to happen.

"..." Chunk took the picture and started rambling, not paying any attention, and he promptly dropped it. "Oh jeez, Mikey, I'm sorry.." he started apologizing, but Mikey wasn't listening.

Mikey practically pounced on the framed brokenness, swept away a few slivers of glass with one hand and lifted the map of One-Eyed Willy out. He looked at it, his blue-grey eyes intense with excitement, for a long moment, and then stood up.

"I found it!" he cried, breathlessly. Carrie and Mouth, who were in the middle of a major kissfest, broke apart and looked up.

"Five minutes." Mouth said in his best negotiators voice, and then he started kissing Carrie again.

"MOUTH." Mikey said sternly, stepping towards Mouth. "We have to do this thing."

"FINE." Mouth yelled, then tried to kiss Carrie yet again.

Carrie broke away and dragged a reluctant Mouth over to where Mikey, Lindsey and Chunk stood. "Enough, Mouth." she said.

"He's like a wildebeest or something." Mikey muttered, slightly amused nonetheless.

"Kissing wildebeests?" Lindsey asked, raising an eyebrow at this.

Mikey blushed slightly. "Uh.. yeah." he replied. "Hold on a second." He grabbed Mouth and Chunk by the arm and dragged them to a corner, and they began whispering to each other, apparently discussing something.

"I wonder what that's all about." Carrie wondered aloud.

"I don't know." Lindsey replied, just as curious. "This wasn't in the movie."

The guys walked back to Lindsey and Carrie, Mikey with a triumphant smile.

"What was that about?" Lindsey asked bluntly.

"Oh, nothing." Mikey shrugged. "We're just picking up some friends to come along for this treasure hunt thing."

Carrie and Lindsey exchanged a panicky look.

_Andi and Stef! _

Oh, NO ONE's gonna kiss my Mikey, accidentally or otherwise! Lindsey thought furiously.

_I'll kill that idiot if she flirts with Mouth... _Carrie thought, her face reddening slightly.

"But... won't extra people slow us down?" Lindsey asked quickly, thinking fast.

"Not really." Mikey shrugged.

"They will!" Lindsey insisted. "We can't waste any time if we're going to save the Goon Docks!"

"Yeah!" Carrie agreed, nodding vigorously. "We should just go. Now."

Mikey gave them an odd look. "A few minutes and a few extra people won't matter. Come on, let's go down and find Data." he motioned at the attic door and he, Mouth and Chunk went downstairs.

Lindsey shot Carrie an apologetic look. "I tried." she said, sighing.

They followed the guys down out of the attic and back downstairs. Chunk immediately ran off to find Data; Mouth and Carrie sat on the couch together, and Mikey and Lindsey sat on the floor behind the couch, waiting for Chunk and Data to come back so they could leave.

"Why're you two behind the couch?" Mouth asked after a few moments.

"So we don't have to watch you exchanging saliva?" Mikey suggested, in a perfectly innocent tone.

Mouth let out a girlish-sounding gasp, which made Lindsey giggle. She rested her head against Mikey's shoulder and he gave her an affectionate look.

_THONK!_

"Hey!" cried out Mikey.

Mouth had taken off one sneaker and tossed it behind the couch, hitting Mikey hard on the head.

"Who throws a shoe?" Lindsey asked. "I mean, honestly, you're fighting like a five year old lesbian! Not a man!"

"Hey!" Mouth said defensively. "That's not just a shoe, it's a Converse!"

"I think throwing shoes is cute, Mouth." Carrie assured him, giving him a hug.

Mikey blindly tossed the sneaker back over the couch and it hit Mouth's left ear with a smack.

"Oh, you're dead, Walsh!" Mouth exclaimed, climbing over the back of the couch.

"Hey, watch it, Mouth!" Carrie said, alarmed, tugging at Mouth's pant leg. "Don't fight."

At that minute, Chunk and Data walked in, Data with a set of chattering toy teeth fused to a slinky, undoubtedly some odd invention of his, clamped firmly to the seat of his pants, and a sheepish look on his face. Mouth glanced up and upon seeing Data's interesting predicament, lost all interest in Mikey.

Mikey peered up over the couch. "I'm not even going to ask." he said finally.

Carrie grinned in amusement, "Data, you dork." she said.

"Double Oh.." Lindsey began.

"Don't say Negative!" Data said loudly, wincing as he pulled the object off his pants and stuffing it inside his coat.

"Can we go now?" Chunk asked. "Cause I'm gonna get hungry and tired soon if we don't.."

"Yeah, sure." Mikey agreed. He pulled himself over the back of the couch and Lindsey and Mouth followed. Chunk sneaked a few Twinkies out of the Walsh's kitchen and stuffed them into his pockets, cleverly thinking no one had noticed when everyone had, then they sneaked outside (Mikey's parents were sleeping, and Brand was in his room doing something or other), and Data ran across the street to get his bike.

"This probably goes without saying, but Carrie, you can ride on the back of Mouth's bike, and Lindsey, you can ride with me. Everyone else has their own bike to ride." Mikey instructed once Data had returned. He heard a hissing noise behind him and whipped around to see Mouth crouched next to Brand's bike, letting the air out of the tires.

"What are you DOING?" Mikey exclaimed. "It took him three hundred and seventy six lawn jobs to get those tires! They're his most favorite thing in the world!"

"Now they're his most flattest thing in the world." Mouth replied smoothly. "Let's go!"

Carrie and Lindsey exchanged an amused grin, both at Mouth's 'flattest thing in the world' comment, and at the look on Mikey's face.

Mouth stepped away from Brand's bike and mounted his own bike, holding it steady for Carrie to get on, and Mikey did the same for Lindsey; and the six of them rode off into the night with Mikey in the lead.

Within ten minutes they had stopped in front of a somewhat dumpy looking small house. Mikey jumped off his bike, ran around to the right side of the house and began scaling the lattice trim up to a second floor window, and perched there, knocking swiftly on the window sill and waiting. After a few seconds the window opened and a tall athletic male figure climbed out and began crawling back down the side of the house with Mikey.

"That's not Stef... or Andi.." Carriw whispered to Lindsey.

"It's a guy." Lindsey whispered back, not moving her gaze from the figures of Mikey and the other boy.

Another figure leaned out the window, but instead of climbing down, he simply leapt down and landed expertly on his feet.

"Teddy, you freaking idiot!" Mikey yelled at the boy,who shrugged and said something that the girls couldn't quite make out.

"TEDDY?" Lindsey whispered incredulously, her heart beginning to race.

"No... no way.. it can't be him.." Carrie whispered back, her eyes wide.

They fixed their eyes on the two new boys and tried to figure out who they were, but they were too far away and it was too dark to see their faces.

A very thin boy climbed down from the window next, followed by a short, chubby boy.

Lindsey and Carrie exchanged another look, hopeful and panicky.

"What're you acting all twitchy about?" Mouth asked them, raising an eyebrow.

"Never mind." Carrie told him.

Mikey and the four new boys approached Carrie, Lindsey, Data, Mouth and Chunk, and as their faces came into view, the girls recognized them, and had to use every spare ounce of willpower to stop themselves from squealing.

The first new boy who came out the window was dressed in jeans, black and white high-tops and a tattered white t-shirt, and he had short blond hair, ocean blue eyes, and a playful grin on his face. The second one, who had leapt out the window, wore camoflaged jeans, a black t-shirt, and army boots, with black framed glasses. He had somewhat messy blondish-brown hair, dark brown eyes, a face identical to Mouth's right down to the mischievous grin. His right ear looked chewed, and he was fingering a dogtag hanging from a silver chain around his neck. The skinny boy had large, doelike eyes, an innocent face, and light brown hair parted to the side and slicked back, and he was wearing a striped, faded polo shirt, jeans, and white sneakers. The chubby fourth boy wore jeans with the cuffs rolled up and a light red t-shirt with a collar, and he had short brown hair, laughing blue eyes, and looked somewhat younger than the others.

Lindsey took in all these details, and couldn't stop herself from letting out a low hiss of breath. She looked sideways at Carrie, whose face was fading to white and looked disbelieving.

Then Mikey began to speak, and the girls hastily wiped their faces clean of expression.

"Guys, these are Carrie and Lindsey." he said, introducing them.

"Carrie, Lindsey, this is Chris Chambers.."

Chris nodded and smiled.

"... Teddy Duchamp.."

Teddy bowed to the girls. "At your service." he said charmingly.

".. Gordie Lachance.."

Gordie smiled shyly.

"... and Vern Tessio."

Vern waved and grinned.

"Hey." Chris said to Carrie.

"Hey yourself." Carrie said, smiling at him. "You're coming along to find the rich stuff?"

"Yeah." Chris replied. "It should be cool."

"Do you have boyfriends?" Teddy asked suddenly.

Mikey whacked Teddy on the arm and Teddy let out a yelp.

"No flirting." Mikey hissed, glaring.

"Ooh, touchy." Teddy muttered, rubbing his arm.

Lindsey laughed. "You dork." she said to Teddy in a friendly tone. It was hard not to like Teddy.

Mouth eyed Teddy and Chris warily and edged closer to Carrie, putting an arm protectively around her.

"Whoa, Mouth." Carrie assured him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Same goes here, Mikey." Lindsey said, looking at Mikey's worried face. "Besides.. we're not even officially dating, are we?" she added tenatively.

Mikey didn't answer, but kept glaring Teddy's way.

Teddy and Chris exchanged a tense look.

"I'll go get my bike." Chris said, turning and trotting off toward the backyard.

"Me too." Teddy said, following Chris. Gordie and Vern followed, and in a few seconds all four of them came riding back on their bikes.

"Let's go!" Gordie shouted, riding into the street and circling, waiting for them.

Carrie and Lindsey got back onto Mouth and Mikey's respective bikes, and they followed Gordie out into the street.

"One Eyed Willy, here we come!" called Teddy from behind.

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HellGirlAngel: Thanks for reviewing! Hope you like this chapter.

DramaticAngel: Yeah, I liked the idea, so hopefully you guys all think it came out okay so far. Thanks!

'sChild: Thanks, glad you think so, and thanks for reviewing.

Get A Room Kibel: Thanks for telling me, I'll check it out, and thanks for the review!


	17. Tobias

_How does Mikey know Chris Chambers and his friends?_

_What are they doing in Astoria? Aren't they supposed to be in Castle Rock?_

_A better question might be, what are they doing in 1985?_

Lindsey turned these thoughts over in her mind as the ten of them rode through the night.

_Okay, NONE of this makes any sense, so why should the fact that the Stand By Me guys have just leapt into the picture... Teddy literally.. make any sense either? It's all probably a dream anyway, and I'm going to wake up and kill my alarm clock any time now._

Lindsey glanced over her shoulder at Carrie, who looked just as bewildered as she felt. She looked ahead again and fell into thought once more. This couldn't be happening, but it seemed so real, everything.. the sight of Chris and the other boys riding ahead... the wind ruffling Mikey's hair just inches from her face..

Her thoughts were interrupted as a figure darted into the street, apparently not noticing them or caring, just in front of them.

"Jesus!" hissed Chris, putting his brakes on and stopping within a few inches of the figure.

Chris stopping had surprised Mikey, who very nearly tipped his bike over and fell off trying to stop without crashing into anyone. "Aggh.." Mikey moaned, rubbing his chest where his bike handlebars had spun around and rammed into him.

Lindsey glanced around wildly. Everyone else seemed to have stopped uneventfully, and Mouth and Carrie had gotten off his bike and were now approaching her.

"What was that?" Carrie asked Lindsey. "Who is he?"

"I dunno." Lindsey replied, looking at Chris. He had gotten off his bike and was now talking to the figure that had ran into the street.

"Does he know him?" Carrie wondered aloud.

"Let's go find out." Mikey said, starting toward Chris and the new boy. Carrie, Lindsey and Mouth followed him.

"Chris?" Mikey asked tenatively, glancing at the new boy that Chris was talking to.

"Oh, hey." Chris turned around. "Guys, this is Tobias. Tobias, this is Mikey, Mouth, Carrie, Lindsey, Chunk and Data." he pointed at each one respectively. "You already know the rest of them." he finished, gesturing at Teddy, Gordie and Vern.

Tobias smiled. He had gray-blue eyes, dark blondish hair, and was very good looking. He looked about fourteen, and was wearing ragged jeans, a red and black long-sleeved shirt, and beat up white sneakers.

"Hi," he said.

Chunk and Data nodded and waved, their mouths too full of M&M's that Chunk had gotten somehow to speak. Mouth saluted, Mikey said 'hello', and Carrie and Lindsey smiled back at Tobias.

"So where are you going?" Tobias asked.

"Uh, we were just going.." Chris began.

".. hunting for One-Eyed Willy's rich stuff." Mikey cut in, an excited gleam in his eyes.

"Who's One-Eyed Willy?" Tobias asked, looking confused.

"He's a dead one-eyed pirate who buried rich stuff around here." Teddy said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. He shoved his glasses up on his nose, and added, "Actually, it was just a rumor, but naive little Mikey's convinced."

"So we're going on our last Goonie adventure." Chunk said mournfully, pouting at his feet.

"You want to come along?" offered Chris.

Tobias glanced around at everyone. "Sure, I mean, if no one minds..." he said. He lowered his voice a little. "I need to get away from home for a little while anyway, that's what I was doing before I ran into you guys." He looked suddenly and depressingly forlorn.

"Oh, the arrogant bastard?" Chris said sympathetically, putting an arm around Tobias's shoulders.

Tobias nodded . "Yeah.." he sighed.

Lindsey and Carrie exchanged a curious look, wondering what Tobias and Chris were talking about.

"I know what that's like." Chris said. "You know my dad. Just come on, man. Get away from him for a few hours."

"Okay." Tobias said. "I'll go get my bike, can you wait for me?" Chris nodded, and Tobias turned and ran down the street, turning and running up a driveway a few houses down.

"What was that about?" Lindsey asked Chris quietly, not able to help herself. She had a good idea, because Chris mentioned his dad. Maybe Tobias was going through the same thing.

"Well..." Chris began, then stopped. Tobias was flying back towards them on his bicycle, now within earshot. Chris shook his head slightly. "Tell you later." he said quietly.

"Alright, I'm ready." Tobias said, circling and then slowing to a stop near them.

"Let's go then!" Mikey said, looking anxious to find the rich stuff.

"Yeah," Chris agreed.

Just then, a shadowed male person came out of the house across the street from the guys, the girls and the Goonies. He stalked soundlessly over to them, looking around shiftily, advancing until he was face-to-face with Mikey.

"Uh.. can I help you?" asked Mikey nervously, taking a step backwards and nearly tripping.

The person, who was rather short, stood up on his toes so he was practically breathing in Mikey's face. The effect was obviously very intimidating, judging by the way Mikey was trembling.

"MASS CHAOS!" he screamed, so suddenly and loudly that Mikey let out a shrill yelp and leapt backwards, falling over Gordie's feet and landing on his back. The mysterious chaos person laughed evilly and ran back into his house.

"Jesus!" Mikey swore, fumbling for his inhaler, and still lying on the ground.

"Well. At least that wasn't weird!" Gordie said sarcastically, looking down at Mikey.

"It was too." Vern argued, staring at Gordie as though he was stupid. "What are you on, anyway?"

"That was sarcasm, Verno." Gordie said, rolling his eyes. "Say it with me: SAR-CA-SM."

Who the hell was that, anyway?" wondered Tobias.

"I dunno, but he sure scared the living hell out of Mikey." cackled Teddy with glee.

"That was the coolest thing I've seen since Chunk wet his pants at Mikey's house in the fifth grade!" proclaimed Mouth, who was looking just as gleeful as Teddy.

"He wet his pants at Mikey's in the fifth grade!" exclaimed Data, Teddy, Gordie and Vern. Lindsey and Carrie, who had been helping Mikey up, went wide-eyed and started laughing. Tobias just looked somewhat grossed out and amused at the same time.

"Oh yeah. About that. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone." Mouth said proudly. "AWESOME."

Before Chunk could try to murder Mouth, Chris quickly spoke up. "You guys, let's get a move on already."

Mikey took a puff from his inhaler and stowed it in his pocket. "Uh-huh." he agreed. "Come on."

Within two minutes, everyone was back on their bikes, and they started off.

"Here we come, Willy." Mikey said softly, as they rode on.

----------------------

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating! I've been having some family troubles and crap, and writers block and on top of that schoolwork, so sorry about that.

The mysterious chaos person is supposed to be my friend Mitchell (you rule, Mitchipop!); and I wrote in Tobias for my best friend Carrie.

My beloved reviewers!

Kidnapped: Yeah, hehe, Teddy is the bomb. He rocks my socks. Thanks!

SweetSongChild8888: I'm glad you think the SBM thing worked out. ) Thanks!

flikchick83: Glad you like the twist as well. Thanks!

Get-A-Room: Yerp, I updated, finally XD Glad you liked it. Thanks!

HellGirlAngel: Thanks:)

batbones: Yes, I thought of that, but I decided to take a risk. I couldn't resist putting two Corey characters in one story. XD Thanks!

Cakes: Yeah, I did. D Hope you like! Thanks.


	18. Getting There

After ten minutes or so, Mikey pulled his bike to a stop.

Tobias almost flew over his handlebars in his attempt to not run over anyone in the process of stopping. It didn't work, since he ended up mowing down Vern anyway.

Mouth managed to bring his bike to a stop without running anyone down, but he fell off instead, knocking Carrie down with him.

"Ow." Carrie twitched, trying to get up, which was hard considering Mouth was sprawled across her lap.

"You broke my fall." Mouth smiled up at her with his best angelic look.

"Again, ow." Carrie laughed.

"Okay, sorry, and thank you." Mouth rolled off and away from Carrie, but not before giving her a kiss.

To Teddy, who was opening his mouth to make a smart-mouth comment, he said, "Don't even say it or I'll sic Choppy on your ass."

"Calm down, Mouth." Mikey called over his shoulder, pulling out the map out to take another look.

He took a long look at it with a thoughtful expression on his face, then held it out to Mouth.

"I'm gonna need you to translate this, I can't read Spanish."

Mouth took the map from Mikey and glanced at it, then spoke. "Diez veces diez..."

"What's that mean?"

"Ten times ten." Mouth told him, then continued. ".. stretching feet, to the lowest Northern point."

"Which way's North?" Mikey asked, thinking.

Data rummaged in his pockets and pulled out his compass. "North is that way!" he told Mikey, pointing.

"Alright, so that'd be..." Mikey began.

"The restaraunt!" Lindsey cut in excitedly. "The rich stuff's under the restaraunt!"

Chunk looked at her curiously. "If you're Data's cousin.."

"Second cousin on his mother's side twice removed," Mouth corrected, an obnoxious grin on his face.

"Lovely singing voice though." Carrie added, quoting Pirates of the Caribbean.

"Whatever." Chunk continued. "But how does she know that?"

"Wow, I don't know." Data said after a short pause. He looked truly confused.

"They're not even your cousins anyway, genius!" Mouth told Data. He rolled his eyes.

"Not the point!" Chunk went red.

"Nobody tells me nothin' anymore.." muttered an equally red-faced Data, staring at his feet.

"I just know." Lindsey said shortly. "Trust me."

Tobias looked from Lindsey, to Carrie, to Data and then to Chunk, looked like he wanted to say something, but merely shook his head.

"This is confusing.. and weird." he said simply.

Lindsey grinned, amused by the look on Tobias's face. She turned to Mikey, who looked almost as confused at Tobias did.

"Okay." Mikey decided. "Let's check out the restaraunt."

"Thanks." Lindsey smiled at him.

He smiled back, gave her a one-armed hug (as he was still clutching the map in his other hand) and kissed her. She reluctantly pulled back after a few seconds, taking another second or two to notice the look in his blue eyes and the way the wind was gently tousling his hair.

"Aww, haven't we had enough kissing today?" Vern moaned, looking annoyed.

"You're just jealous because you can't ever get a girl." Mikey grinned, his arm still around Lindsey.

The guys all started off in the direction of the restaraunt, but Carrie and Lindsey hung back.

"Well, that probably would've gone faster if I'd just let them figure it out themselves." Lindsey grinned.

Carrie shrugged. "It was worth it, though, just to see Chunk and Data confused over nonexistant cousins."

They both laughed and quickened their pace until they caught up with the boys, who had been waiting on them to pace over to the restaraunt.

"Ten times ten. That's two hundred paces, right?" Gordie asked.

"No, one hundred." Chris corrected him. "You were a hundred off, man!" He laughed good-naturedly and whacked Gordie on the arm.

Gordie blinked. "Maybe I should've paid more attention in fifth grade math." he muttered, a smile on his face nonetheless.

"Right, one hundred paces." Mikey said, taking a large step forward. "One... two... three.. four.."

**-----**

**Starting now, I won't be answering your reviews by writing my replies in the upcoming chapters. I'll just use the new 'reply' feature. Yay!**


	19. At the Restaraunt

By the thirtieth step or so, Teddy and Mikey had an arm around each other and were half skipping, half prancing their paces; so were Vern and Data, Tobias and Chris, and Carrie and Lindsey. The guys were skipping for their own, unknown (and undoubtedly odd) reasons, but the girls just because, well, skipping was amusing, and being easily amused was their thing.

BANG.

They all stopped simultaneously, startled by the noise. Lindsey slammed into Chris, and Carrie into Tobias, but nobody noticed.

"What was that?" Tobias asked, his voice sounding almost comically high.

Mouth stared, open-mouthed, at the restaraunt for a brief second, before answering. "Somebody just dropped a pot or something." he said, sounding unconvinced.

Data frowned, but nodded anyway. "Yeah, they just dropped a pot." he agreed, as most of the other guys nodded in agreement.

"Right, let's go then." Chris said. His ocean eyes glimmered nervously at the prospect of what was in the restaraunt. Lindsey wanted to comfort him, and somehow let him know that it would be okay (_I've seen the movie, right? Everyone comes out alright.. _she thought), but Gordie beat her to it. Gordie gave Chris a friendly slap on the shoulder and smiled.

"It's alright, man. We're all in this together, we've got each others' backs." he said. "So, where were we? Thirty-something steps?"

Lindsey and Carrie exchanged a look. They hadn't been paying attention, the amusing qualities of the whole situation, and the fact that half the guys they were with were skipping was distracting.

Oops.

"Thirty-three." Teddy said, madly trying to push down a cowlick of hair that was sticking up toward the front of his head.

"What Teddy said." grinned Gordie. "Let's get this done."

They began walking and counting steps again, and they reached the restaraunt within a few minutes.

"I'm telling you, they sounded like gunshots! Not the ones in the movies, real ones!" Chunk whined. Ever since the loud noise earlier, he'd been nervously discussing terroristic possibilities with Vern, who looked torn between mortal terror and total paranoia.

"Forget it, Chunk!" Teddy said impatiently, making his way toward the door. He put a hand on the door and pushed through it, stepping inside the restaraunt.

Everybody else except for Chunk, Vern and Data followed Teddy inside. Chunk, meanwhile, had let his curiosity get the best of him and was doing some looking around.

Gordie bumped his arm into Carrie's side as they entered, and she let out a wild yell. She grabbed onto his arm, spun around and delivered a hard kick to Gordie's stomach.

"Oww..." groaned Gordie. "What was that for?"

"Self defense." Carrie said matter of factly, turning.

Lindsey laughed. "She takes Tae Kwon Do." she explained to Gordie, who looked confused and was bent over forward, clutching his stomach.

"Yeah, she totally digs you." Chris told Gordie, slapping him on the back.

"You think?" Gordie halfway groaned, but still looking over at Carrie with interest.

Inside the restaraunt, Teddy and Mouth gazed around at the filthy, run-down restaraunt, with identical puzzled expressions.

"This place is a summer restaraunt?" Mouth asked. "Looks like it hasn't been open in ten summers."

A hand descended on his shoulder and he jerked around, startled, to see Mama Fratelli standing and glaring at him.

"How long have you been in here?" she demanded.

"L-long enough to see you need about a hundred roach motels in this place." Mouth stammered, as Mikey and Data's eyes nervously darted around.

Before she could reply, Carrie pushed her way past Gordie, who was still leaning in the doorway, and she stood in front of Mama Fratelli with her fists held up in guarding position, glaring menacingly at her.

Lindsey unsuccessfully stifled a snicker at the look on Mama Fratelli's face as she eyed Carrie warily.

"Back off, old beeyotch, or I'll Hurricane Kick your ass halfway to Italy." Carrie said cooly, her face the perfect image of Zen.

The old lady looked so comically surprised at this, that Mikey let out a loud snort of laughter. She glared at him, and he attempted to straighten his face.

"It was a burp?" he lied, reddening.

Vern burst into the restaraunt, with Data right behind him screaming "BOND ATTACKS!" and waving a random instrument of doom that involved a slinky and a rubber duck.

"JESUS! SAVE ME!" Vern squealed, knocking Gordie out of the way and into Carrie again.


	20. Leprechauns! or not

Gordie just sat there for a moment, dazed, until a snicker from Chris snapped him out of it.

"Oh. Sorry." he said to Carrie, pulling himself off her.

Carrie looked freaked out for a split second, then composed herself and nodded. "It's okay."

"What the hell was that, you bony little jackass?" Mama Fratelli asked Gordie, looking disgusted.

"If I knew how to do a Hurricane Kick, I'd do it to you myself." muttered Gordie, giving her the evil eye.

"Hurricane Kick?" Francis Fratelli asked, entering the room and standing behind his mother.

"Yeah, Hurricane Kick." Lindsey grinned. "You want to show them, Carrie?"

Carrie gave a nod and stepped forward, bowing swiftly. "Brace yourself," she told Francis, and before he had a moment to think, move, or do anything, she leapt into the air, executing a hard kick to his chest before her feet hit the ground again, with catlike swiftness and balance. Francis flew backwards and landed on his back a yard away, wheezing and trying to catch his breath as he pulled himself back to a standing position.

All of the guys and Lindsey burst into approving whoops of delight.

"Oh, my God! Carrie, that was so boss!" Gordie exclaimed, his brown eyes bright and excited.

Teddy was on the floor laughing his crazy one-of-a-kind laugh. "You going to try it on the old hag?" he asked between gasps of laughter.

Carrie smirked. "Are you going to back off now?" she asked Mama Fratelli. "Or do you want a piece of that?"

Mama Fratelli stood her ground, and picked up a stout-handled, rather bloody butcher's knife from a table next to her. "Just try it, you little whore." she spat.

No longer than a second after the words left her mouth, Mouth, Lindsey and Gordie all rushed forward. Mouth and Lindsey each held one of the Fratelli woman's arms while Gordie pried the knife from her surprisingly powerful grip.

"NOBODY calls her a whore and gets away with it!" Mouth growled in a furious tone.

"Damn right!" Gordie agreed, brandishing the bloody butcher's knife and giving Mama Fratelli a threatening look.

She flinched and jerked backwards, knocking Mouth to the side slightly, but he kept a firm grip on her.

At that moment, a loud booming crash from somewhere under the floor sounded, startling them all. Data let out a small gasp, and grabbed the first person he saw, who happened to be Tobias. Tobias passed him a terrified look and attempted to pry Data's tightly-gripping arms off his waist.

Mama Fratelli glared at Jake and Francis.

"If your brother broke his chains again I'm NOT going back to the zoo for another set!" she snapped, pulling herself away from Mouth and Lindsey (despite the fact that Gordie still had the knife).

The two brothers glanced at each other meekly. Without a word, they stalked out of the room together, presumably to check up on the noise.

"Brother? Chains?" Gordie whispered to Carrie, his brown eyes wide. "She chains up her son?"

"Not so hard to believe, is it?" Carrie whispered back, never taking her eyes off the old woman.

"Good point." he replied, after a short pause of contemplation.

Mama Fratelli noticed that they were talking at this point, and stepped toward them. "What are you talking about?" she demanded, reaching forward and taking the knife from Gordie, whose hand went limp and surrendered the knife easily.

Mouth and Gordie stepped forward swiftly again, flanking Carrie on each side and strongly resembling a pair of lovestruck bodyguards. Mikey reached out and squeezed Lindsey's hand, and Data tightened his death grip on Tobias' waist.

"Absolutely nothing." Carrie replied, giving the woman a hard stare.

"That's a lie, what do you think I am, stupid?"

"How about we answer that when you don't have a knife?" Mouth answered, eyeing the potential murder weapon warily.

"Why don't you do what the lady with the knife tells you to?" Mama Fratelli retorted.

Before Mouth could come up with another snappy comeback, Jake and Francis re-entered the room, and Mama Fratelli seemed to lose interest.

"He just knocked the TV over again. The chains are fine." Jake said wearily.

"OH MY GOD!" Leprechaun's back in the hood!" Lindsey screamed suddenly, pointing behind the three Fratellis.

Chris and Gordie yelled and clutched each other convincingly. Of course there was no Leprechaun, but that didn't stop Data from looking totally and completely confused. He reached inside his coat and yanked out a cheesy-looking dart gun, using it to fire suction-cup tipped darts in random directions.

"I HATE leprechauns! They're evil!" he shrieked terrifiedly.

"RUN, you idiot!" Lindsey screamed, grabbing him by the arm and bolting for the door along with the others.

**-------------------**

**A/N: Yes! I've finally updated. I'm sure you all thought I forgot about this story, but I didn't. I was just REALLY busy with school and stuff. Sorry it's been so long between updates, I'll try to do better but I can't promise anything. Thanks for reviewing everybody, and make sure you review this chapter, reviews are what keeps me updating. :)**


	21. Hide and Seek

The "Leprechaun" only distracted the Fratellis for a moment or two, but it was long enough. The confusion of all twelve teenagers rushing for the door, yelling and tripping over each other, stunned the two brothers, who just stood there looking blankly at the doorway.

"YOU IDIOTS! Get them!" yelled Mama Fratelli, whacking Francis hard enough that he staggered backwards.

Francis gave her a hurt look, and followed Jake out the door. "Why can't you get off your lazy ass and get them yourself, witch?" he muttered to himself.

"I heard that!" she roared.

Outside, they had all scattered in different directions. When they finally stopped for breath, Lindsey, Carrie, Mouth, Chris and Tobias all found themselves huddled behind a large rock together.

Attempting to get his breath back, Chris managed to wheeze, "Did we lose them?"

Lindsey cautiously shifted herself and twisted her back in an uncomfortable position that allowed her to peek over the top of the rock. "I think we're safe." she replied, seeing that nobody seemed to be outside the restaurant. The building looked gloomy and abandoned in the distance.

"Uh, that's great, but how come there's only five of us?" Tobias asked, brushing his golden hair out of his eyes.

"I'm gonna assume that they just found different hiding places than us." Carrie said optimistically. "We couldn't have all hidden behind this rock, anyway."

"Never make assumptions, 'cause 'assume' makes an ass out of both you and me." Mouth stated wisely, climbing to his feet and leaning on Lindsey's shoulder for support.

Lindsey winced and poked him in the side. Mouth obligingly shifted his weight off her and looked at Chris.

"Okay, we'll just check everywhere they could be hiding and figure it out along the way." Chris decided, starting toward a group of trees not far away. He looked over his shoulder at them. "But keep quiet, in case the Fratelli people hear us."

Mouth offered his hand to Carrie, who took it and smiled at him. Lindsey followed the two of them, walking next to a quiet Tobias. They searched in silence for several long minutes, not making a sound except for the occasional snap of a twig, or a semi-whispered "Mikey?", "Gordie?" or "Chunk?".

In the middle of peeking into a dead-looking bush, Lindsey heard a thump behind her and a little gasp of pain. She whirled around to see a sheepish-looking Data on the ground behind her, his legs sprawled out in front of him.

"I fell on my teeth." Data grimaced, pulling a battered set of clicking toy teeth out of his pocket.

"What are you doing?" Lindsey asked, amused.

"Looking for you. We hid in a tree, Andi and Stef were collecting leaves or something, and they found us."

"Oh." Lindsey replied, wondering how Carrie would feel about this. She was slightly apprehensive - after all, Mikey had kissed Andi, even if it was accidental - but reassured herself that nothing would happen. "We were behind that rock." she pointed, and Data nodded.

"Where's everyone else?"

"I guess they're still looking for you and the other guys."

At that moment a shout was heard, and Carrie, Mouth and Chris came jogging up.

"Data!" Chris said, rather breathlessly. "Where's everyone?"

"Mostly everyone's back talking with Andi and Stef." he explained again. "Come on." He led them through the trees and in a short time they arrived in a small clearing. Sure enough, everyone seemed to be there. Gordie, who'd been engrossed in conversation with Stef, noticed Carrie right away and made his way over.

"Hey! Data found you?" he asked, his face lighting up.

"Yeah, and we found you." Carrie smiled at him.

"You have a really pretty smile." Gordie noted bashfully (and a bit randomly).

Grinning to herself, Lindsey left the two to flirt and glanced around for Mikey.

"Hey.." she realized to her dismay.

"Where's Mikey?" she and Vern asked at the same time.

"I thought he was with you." Vern said, his face obviously distressed.

"And I thought he was with you." Lindsey frowned.

"What's up?" Carrie asked, breaking away from Gordie and joining them.

"Have you seen Mikey?" Lindsey asked, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, shit, no." Carrie's face fell, and she turned back to Gordie. "Gordie? Did Mikey come here with you?"

Gordie shook his head. "Wasn't he hiding with you?"

"No, I just had this conversation with Vern." Lindsey replied, frustrated. "I'm sure he's okay, but I'm going to go look for him."

"Yeah, I'm coming too." Carrie volunteered.

"I'm coming if you are." Gordie said quickly.

Vern nodded. "Me too, if you want."

"Thanks, guys." Lindsey said gratefully. "Data, can you tell them that we're looking for Mikey?"

Data nodded. "You'll find him. He just decided to find his own hiding spot. Like when we were eight and played Sardines, or hide and seek."

This random, lighthearted reference made Lindsey smile, and she hugged him. And then she, Carrie, Vern and Gordie set out in search of Mikey.

**----------------------------**

**A/N: Oooh, where's Mikey? Sorry for the delay in updating but I've been swamped. I'll -try- to update once a week or more, but I can't promise anything. Thanks for being patient, reading, and reviewing. Your reviews are what keeps me writing. :)**


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